Fasting and Feasting...

The Final Week

2006-04-10T11:43:00.000-04:00

Luke 9:18-27 - "Peter's Confession"

In these two passages, Jesus was getting very serious about revealing who He really was to His closest followers. He had Peter confess who he thought Jesus was, to which he replied, "The Christ (Messiah) of God."

No sooner had those words come out of Peter's mouth, Jesus says that He is going to "suffer many things," be rejected, be killed, and be raised to life. It's the first time recorded in Luke that Jesus tells them what's going to happen to Him. How did Peter hear that, after making that bold confession that Jesus was the Christ God?

But before even giving them a chance to respond to that, He invites them to follow. "If anyone would COME AFTER ME, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me..."

For Jesus, it didn't matter what the disciples thought of it. Because they were His disciples, He expected that they would follow Him in His suffering, His rejection; that they would be with Him at Gethsamane; that they would walk with Him up to Calvary; and even be there when He died and give His last breath.

Obviously we know and He knew that they would flee as soon as He got arrested, but He was getting a message across - about what a life that is committed to Jesus Christ would require.

ANYONE who follows Christ, must expect to first journey with Him to Calvary - to deny themselves, to take up their cross, to not be ashamed of Him, to choose Him over the world and not forfeit their souls.

But the hope and the promise is that He's going to be there. When you journey with Christ, the focus of that phrase isn't the "journey" but it's "with Christ" that is our hope and strength.

Where are you headed today that's causing you to deny yourself? Be encouraged and reminded that you're following after Jesus. And when you lose your life, you will truly find it...

Glory be to God

Priorities

2006-03-30T18:37:00.000-05:00

Luke 6:1-15 - "The Lord of the Sabbath"

Jesus loved people. There was no clearer priority on His heart. Even at the cost of His own crediblity as a respectful Jewish teacher, He made it crystal clear that when it came to choosing between rules and people, people would win every time.

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law obviously had a bone to pick with Jesus, and was looking every reason to accuse Him and make Him out to be a lawless rebel. And so, they kept a careful eye on Him when He was walking the grainfields (what in the world were the Pharisees doing there anyway?) and when He was teaching that day - jumping at the first oppurtunity to knock Him down. And in this instance, it was to indict Him for working on the Sabbath, even after He told them plainly, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."

But Jesus wasn't fooled. Luke wrote that Jesus knew what they were thinking. And He shut their mouths by not only healing the man with the shriveled hand, but pointing out to their faces that to have not done anything for this crippled man would have been to do evil, and to even destroy life.

Jesus had a particular emphasis on looking out for fellow human beings. He loved them to death. He saw this man who lived his life without one hand, and though that man could have probably went without that hand for a while longer, Jesus met his need, and restored it completely.

How rebuked the Pharisees must have been! And how rebuked I am.

A couple of weeks ago, I got upset in my office because my CD burner wasn't working well. I was frustrated fiddling with it, realizing that it was almost time to meet with a student on Penn campus. I was upset even on the ride to meeting this student.

I was stopped at a red light on Chestnut Ave, and I felt like a dumb donkey. God spoke so clearly to me, "Dan, look at you. You're upset over a CD burner. I care so deeply about this person you're about to meet up with. You care more about some 'thing' more than this precious soul. Where are your priorities? Will you pray? Will you care?" I felt like a loser. I prayed and repented on the spot, and asked for a new heart - a heart that cares for the things that God cares for.

I had a wonderful meeting, and got to really care for and minister to that student, and was so thankful to the Lord for setting me straight. I got back to my office, and my CD burner was working just fine.

I learned an important lesson that day as a Christian and as a pastor. Everything will fade out of existence. Souls will remain forever. God cherishes each one. And He's calling me to do the same. Even in the next passage, we see Jesus calling His disciples "to Himself." - calling them not to some profession or club, but to a relationship with Him. He saw people, and not just potential useful workmen.

I pray that as long as I live - my ministry will always be about God and His people first. Whenever I make it about me, about the ministry name, about expansion, and less about people, I pray that the Lord will break me to a pulp, and kindly correct me.

I attended a funeral this morning of the brother who passed away last week from USP. I was reminded of the precious value of one soul. The word of God says that one soul is more precious than the entire world. I hope that I can love souls as Jesus did.

He is the Lord of the Sabbath, and the Lord of every man.

Fighting Temptations

2006-03-27T17:37:00.000-05:00

Luke 4:1-12 - The Temptation of Jesus

As I was reading through this familiar passage this morning, the weight of the temptations that Jesus was confronted with hit me pretty hard. My whole life, I thought that these temptations were no problem for Jesus to overcome. After all, wasn't He God? Wasn't He in complete control of the situation? He just told Satan to buzz off, and He showed off His power, didn't He?

But looking more carefully into the text,and its context, I realized that I was mistaken. Jesus is called by many theologians as the "second Adam." And everywhere the first Adam (Adam from Genesis) failed and messed up, Jesus Christ succeeded and overcame.

In this case, where Adam failed in the garden to overcome the temptation of the serpent, Jesus here overcomes - temptations that were real and powerful.

I'm sure that all of you who are reading this knows what it feels like to be tempted. To have your flesh scream at you SO loudly at your weakest moments - something you crave SO much that you know is bad for you, that you feel absolutely helpless, and without even giving a fight, you give into it. I've been there many times, and I hate every second of it - when I'm being led to temptation, when I'm being tempted, and when I give in to it. It's the worst feeling in the world.

And for some reason, those feelings came rushing to me as I was reading this passage this morning. These were real tempations that only the Son of God, full of the Holy Spirit could have overcome.

Temptation number 1 came to Jesus when He was really hungry. He had eaten nothing during the 40 days He spent in the wilderness. This temptation represents the little things/habits in our lives that can distract us, and that we need to deny ourselves of. Food isn't a bad thing, nor would turning a stone into bread. But that wasn't why Jesus was in the desert.

The second temptation represents our bigger desires - for fame, for exaltation, for the worship and praise of man. This has been a struggle of mine for many years - wanting to be known and admired by the masses. Just reading verse 5 and how the devil showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world in an instant, reminded me of the battles that I have had in this area. It's an issue of worship. I am not to be worshipped - I am to worship God. And I am not to get people to worship me - I am to get them to worship God, and serve Him only.

The third temptation represents the subtle ways that we manupulate God to serving our needs. What gain was there for Jesus to throw Himself down from the temple? It would only be to test and manipulate God. How many times do we get tempted to force God to do things our way? And how many times do we give Him a hard time, when He doesn't serve our selfish wants? We are not to put the Lord our God to the test.

This time around, it was painful for me to read this passage. Those temptations were real, and they came at Jesus full force. But it was SO strengthening and empowering to know that Christ, the second Adam, overcame it - as He was full of the Holy Spirit, and full of His Word. And now He lives in me, so that I too can overcome, even the most severe temptations, and even at my weakest moments.

And it's so good to know that Jesus knows how I feel when I'm being tempted to sin in the grossest way. He's been there. Satan came to Him at His weakest moment just as He does to me today. And now, He can help me. Praise His Name... Be encouraged, and do not be defeated, people of God...

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakensses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." - Hebrews 4:15-16

"Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted." Hebrews 2:18

Late night ponderings...

2006-03-25T01:58:00.000-05:00

My apologies for infrequent postings. Most of this week, the internet was down at church, and when it was finally up and running, I got extremely busy...

Late night ponderings...
1. I've been feeling a lot of spiritual attack this past week. I'm not sure what the enemy is up to. He's not trying to discourage me, or harden me... I think he's just trying to freeze my spiritual life and ministry. Please pray for me. I can resist and overcome in Jesus' name.

2. A student passed away at USP this past Thursday. It hit some of the ECFers pretty hard. Death is a reality in our world that is fallen, and one that all of us must face one day. May we always number our days aright, and learn the brevity of life. Live for what will outlast us. Build eternal things.

3. Pastor Dan Hyun is finally getting married tomorrow, at the age of 34. I'm always happy for my friends who tie the knot, and get to experience one of the most precious, sacred gifts that God has given human beings - the union of marriage. Much love and blessing to our brother and Judie as they begin their new life together.

4. The school year is rapidly coming to a close. Details for ECF leadership has not been set yet. We really need the Lord's wisdom and guidance. He loves this body. I just need to be faithful, and love His people as He does.

5. The Chisec team is meeting without me now. It is such a wonderful team. We've been meeting quite often to eat, hang out, and share together. They all went to pick up Gene at the airport tonight, and then ate at John Kang's house. I wish I could have went, but I went straight home after dropping students off. I was pretty wiped out tonight - felt very weak during tonight's message, but I felt the Lord helping me with every word.

6. A student told me tonight that no matter what changes I make, I will always look like a young kid. I'm still trying to figure out if that's good or bad. What will I look like one day with wrinkles, and gray hair?

7. I'm blessed beyond what I have ever dreamed.

Blessed are the poor in spirit...

2006-03-21T11:18:00.000-05:00

Yikes, I missed two days of posting... :( My apologies
(Please read... this is a very meaningful post for me)

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3

As I'm journeying this Lent season, I'm also trying to read through The Divine Conspiracy, by Dallas Willard, who does a very thorough work in describing the human condition, and how the message of the nearness of the Kingdom is the most important thing that this fallen world needs - more than our secular efforts at moral reform, more than education, etc.

In chapter 4, he does a very in-depth study of the Beatitudes, which are the "Blessed are" statements found in Matthew 5 - Jesus' sermon on the mount. He wrote about how so many have misunderstood these statements to be conditions for God's blessings.

For example, people can misread this the first beatitude by thinking that in order for you to really inherit the Kingdom, you need to become poor in spirit - or you need to acknowledge your spiritual poverty - or you need to sell everything and become destitute.

But this completely dismisses the message of grace that permeates the entire sermon, and the entire book of Matthew. In the previous chapter (Matthew 4) - we see the message of Christ summarized in one verse - "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near..." And in the following verses, he recruits his kingdom workers, and then goes to the sick, the paralyzed, and the demon-possessed and begins to heal them.

And it is to this crowd, that Jesus begins to say the words of the Beatitudes - "Blessed are YOU, who are poor in spirit..." - meaning "Blessed are you, who are absolutely spiritually bankrupt - you, who lack all the spiritual sophisticaed knowledge that the Pharisees possess - you, who will never get an A on a Bible quiz - you, who will never be asked to be a small group leader - you, who no one wants to sit next to at church - you, who feel like an absolute nobody - the Kingdom of heaven has come, and it is NEAR - for YOU..."

This isn't exactly a desirable condition to be in - nor does it merit salvation or the kingdom of heaven. And the point isn't to try to become "poor in spirit." The point of this verse was to highlight and reveal the indescribably MERCY and LOVE of Jesus. He came to rescue destitute sinners who couldn't help themselves. The Kingdom indeed is near, and those who are poor in spirit are invited. Not only are they invited, but the beatitude says that they can possess it.

This melted my heart - me, who grew up in the church, who so many times feel like I can help myself. And especially coming back from missions - this is such a powerful truth, about the breadth and scope of who the Gospel is actually for. Yes, it was for me, but not just for people like me.

It's for the hopeless, jaded, spiritually apathetic adult in the village of Chisec, who barely cracks a smile even when he sees his kid jumping around, singing Spanish praise songs with all his heart. It's for that woman who showed up at our clinic who had breast cancer, who just broke down, opened her heart and gave her life to Christ. It's for that newcomer at our church who doesn't know a single praise song that we sing, who feels so socially disconnected, but whose heart is hungry for the only Truth.

May our hearts beat with our Savior's this Lent season. He came to bring His kingdom to those who are poor in spirit. Let us join in His mission and passion - on campus, in this city, in another nation. His Kingdom is truly near...

Crying out for redemption...

2006-03-16T13:02:00.000-05:00

"When the sun was setting, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying His hands on each one, He healed them." Luke 4:40

A huge part of Jesus' ministry when He was on earth was that He went to those who were ill and had all kinds of diseases, and He physically touched them to heal them. He had an unmistakable compassion for those who were sick, and never turned away from them, when so many would send them away, for fear of being defiled.

Sickness exists in our world as a result of the fall of man. And it is one of many conditions that the Christ entered our world to redeem. Sometimes when we're sick, we fall into this self-pity mode, and scream for medicine and recovery, but as I look at Scripture and into the heart of Christ and how He dealt with it, it makes me want to continue to scream for complete redemption of not only my physical condition, but for the whole world and creation.

Paul writes in Romans 8 that we, along with the whole creation, are groaning inwardly waiting for the redemption of our bodies. And as Jesus walked among the crowds, I'm sure that His heart was groaning as well - so much so that He wielded His power to bring supernatural healing to the sick - to show all that was watching that this is a glimpse of what we were always meant to be - a new creation that is healed and restored.

While we were in Chisec, we got a glimpse of the heart of Christ, and His heart of mercy for the sick as the medical team was busy everyday seeing patients at the clinic that the missionaries had set up. I was so encouraged seeing our team of doctors and pharmacists deal with and treat each person with such tender care and loving attention. (It made me kind of want to go to medical school, but who am I trying to kid?)

I think this was what Jesus would have done. In this passage, it says that Jesus layed His hands on EACH ONE and didn't miss anyone. Each one meant so much to Him. He valued and still values the healing of the body, and more importantly, the healing of the soul. This was His mission and purpose, and we see that He didn't stop until He went to the cross, and took on Himself ALL of our spiritual diseases on Himself so that we could forever be healed.

This LENT season, may He bring healing and salvation to many - as His name spreads to one heart at a time...

Don't Let My Vision Die...

2006-03-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

"'I tell you the truth,' Jesus said to them, 'no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.'" Luke 18:29-30

While we are at Chisec, we had the opportunity to work with 3 very godly missionaries who had responded to the calling the Lord had given them. At first, we had some reservations because they were all first-generations Koreans, and we thought it would be hard if we didn't see eye to eye with them. But it ended up being, at least for me, one of the biggest blessing being able to serve side-by-side with them, hearing their stories, and learing from their experiences.

In the above picture, we called out the missionaries and their families to do the motions to "Making Melodies" on the last day of the VBS. If you notice, only one of them had his wife and children with him. The reason for that is because the other 2 (the older ones) left their families back here in the States in order to obey the Lord, and serve as missionaries there in Chisec.

As they shared their stories with us, this was something that I couldn't really understand. Our team was later sharing with each other what a painful situation it would be if we were ever faced with it - if one of us were ever called to leave everything to go to the mission field, and our loved ones didn't agree and couldn't follow. I, personally, don't know if I could handle that.

But here they were (Rev. Chang, and Missionary Daniel), serving the Lord with all their hearts, jumping around to children's songs, battling their loneliness every day, the emptiness knowing that their beloved families are thousands of miles away. The only reason that they were there, is because their vision never faded away. Neither of their decisions were dictated by feelings, but they were faithful to their vision and calling.

On the bus ride to Chisec from Guatemala City, a couple of us were singing the old song, "Don't let my love grow cold...Don't let my vision die, I'm calling out, light the fire again..." And it started making more sense to me what those lines really mean, when I saw these missionaries screaming, "Thumbs up! Elbows out!" Their vision has not died. Their love has not grown cold . Their fire is still burning.

What's that vision? I think Jesus painted it for us well in these verses in Luke. NO ONE who has left home or their precious loved ones for the sake of Christ's Kingdom and His work will fail to gain MANY times as much here in this world, and in the world to come. I don't see any other reason why those missionaries haven't quit or packed their bags yet.

This is what Christ values in the hearts of His followers. This LENT season, I pray that our vision for our lives and for eternity will be renewed, as we behold HIS beauty and worth. May our fire always remain lit and may we faithfully carry our crosses, even until our last days.

Lord, don't let my vision die...

The Kingdom belongs to such as these...

2006-03-14T12:15:00.000-05:00

"But Jesus called the children to Him and said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Luke 18:16-17

Being around children from ages 5-10 all last week at Chisec was a very stretching experience for me. The only times I'm ever around children for more than 5 minutes are at family gatherings, and when I'm playing drums for our church's VBS - and that's it. I tend to avoid large gatherings of children, because I end up with all my energy and life depleted, and usually vow never to do VBS again when it's over. And they were particularly energetic and restless down at Chisec.

But being around them, and thinking about Christ's words in these verses made me really think about the Kingdom and what He really valued in the hearts of His followers. He said that the Kingdom BELONGS to them. And that if we didn't receive it like they do, then we'll NEVER enter it. This really made me reflect and think a lot, and I understood why the missionaries down there targeted the children more than anyone else.

There's something about the heart of a child that latches on really quickly to something that fascinates them. And when they see something they want, they GENUINELY desire it with all their hearts - whether it's candy, attention, a certain song repeated, a hug, etc. And they will scream, claw, push, shove, beg until they get it. Those of you who do Sunday School, QV, or nursery know what I'm talking about.

There was this one girl named Monica who would just cling to us with this tight hug and literally wouldn't let go for about 5 minutes, because she just wanted some love and attention (we were told that these kids don't get a lot of this at home). And this was just one example.

I think this is how Jesus wants us to pursue the Kingdom of God - to seek it FIRST above all else, and to seek it PASSIONATELY, and to scream, beg, push, shove (speaking of prayer and service) until we see it come on earth. Children don't sit down and calculate the costs and benefits of such a pursuit. They just want something, and they grab it. And if we don't run after the Kingdom like this, we'll NEVER enter it.

On the last day of the VBS, after the closing prayer was said, all 250 children in there rushed our team and gave us one last hug, clinging to us with so much love and affection, with huge smiles. None of us on the team had a dry eye. That's the way I want to run after Jesus and hug Him every day, because He means so much to me, and this is the kind of devotion and affection that He takes great delight in.

The Kingdom of God belongs to such as these...

Back From Guatemala... Getting ready...

2006-03-13T11:39:00.000-05:00

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24

I'm so thankful to have been able to spend this past week at Chisec, Guatemala with our team, the missionaries, and the many kids there that stole my heart. Our time there was so short, and the days went by so quickly, that a part of my heart feels a little empty, like there was so much more to be done. I'm going back in 4 months, with a much bigger, more loaded team, and so the hope and excitement in that is giving me a lot of strength.

Today, I guess for me, is the first day of LENT, and I want to continue in posting my thoughts about the character and beauty of Christ and the ministry and legacy that He left behind.

I want to go through the book of Luke, not thoroughly but get different snapshots of what Christ really valued in this packed, detailed account of the life and ministry of Jesus. Different themes in this book include Jesus' prayer life in solitude, His mission in seeking and saving the lost, and the idea of Sonship - both the Sonship of Christ, and also for us, as we now belong to the family of God. The overarching theme is that Jesus is the second Adam who came to fix, redeem, and undo all the damage that was done by the sin that was committed by the first Adam, way back in the garden.

I hope to touch on these different themes, and post some thoughful devotional convictions, so that it's not just all info, but life applications that I want to live out.

I'm really excited for this year's LENT. Missions has really inspired me to fall in love with Christ, to meet Him every day, to hear from Him, to worship Him, so that I can grow to be like Him. And I want to reflect His character, His love, and His purity to whoever sees my life. All of that is worth laying aside some of the earthly things and idols that my heart craves and that ensnare me so easily.

Fasting and feasting... for His glory.

2005-06-15T17:21:00.000-04:00

I need to repent for how much I've been complaining about this nasty hot weather that has been draining me of life these past couple of weeks. Not having AC in my office and living in a crowded house hasn't made things any easier, but despite those things being there, every day has been an adventure of watching God work and bring unexpected joys and opportunities for ministry day by day, without fail.

More and more I'm convinced that there is no spiritual fruit and progress in life without some key sacrifices being made. Every time I've experienced any kind of blessing either in my personal life or in ministry, it always came with a cost. Either I had to be inconvenienced in some way, lose money, lose sleep, be humiliated in some way, be hurt or disappointed in another way, experience frustration and anger, experience trials and tempations...

I remember when I was growing up in youth group, this is something that my youth pastor kept engraining into my head... "Without sacrificial prayer, we can't have a ministry." Although it was a bit extreme at times, I now see the wisdom in his words.

There never was, and there never will be such a thing as coasting in ministry or our spiritual lives. With every sermon that I prepare, with every counseling session I get ready for, with every Bible Study that I write, in all of my personal prayer times, I find myself intensely wrestling with my own flesh, insecurity, my pride, and selfish desire for respect and applause. It's an ugly fight, but one that I simply cannot ignore because if I do, then the ministry will fall flat on the floor.

If ministry were easy and convenient, then the devil would have no occasion for attack, and nothing will ever get done.

This is why I dread Thursdays. That is the day I fast and prepare for the weekend, and the devil puts this huge bullseye on my head and heart, trying to send every thing he can to distract me and bring me down. It's a difficult battle, but praise God for His sustaining grace that enables me to fight through it, and to press forward without giving up.

It's been hot lately, my life has been crazy, and it's been hard to keep a clear head and a quiet heart. But it's the struggle that makes me stronger, and more dependent on God's all-sufficient power, and He's been so faithful to bring the blessings that easily outweigh these little obstacles and difficulties that are sometimes so hard to overcome.

Even further, the Bible explicity promises that trials bring about perseverance, which must finish its work in me day by day, if I will ever grow into complete maturity in Christ. This Friday, I hope to give a message on wholeness of character/integrity to summer ECF. I pray that as God's working these lessons in my heart, that He would reveal His heart, and powerfully enable me as well as our church to press on and make the sacrifices necessary to see His Kingdom come and move mightily here on earth...

2005-05-31T15:04:00.000-04:00

This has been a pretty intense month for me. I don't think I have fully recovered from the weekend when I took those exams... and that was over 2 weeks ago!

Summer ECF has gotten off to a pretty good start. It's so encouraging when I have a lot of support and when everyone else is just as or even more excited than I am. I feel like all the officers and small group leaders are together with me on the same page. That is SUCH a wind in my sails, and makes even more excited to serve and pray.

More and more, I'm praying for revival to happen in our generation here in Philly. I feel like we've been in a dry spell for a pretty long time. I wouldn't necessarily call it a period of rebellion or apostasy, but my heart is yearning to see something new and out of the ordinary; massive waves of people coming to know Christ, and Christians (His people) on fire, passionate to make His name known - not necessarily something this big, but something to remind me of how big and powerful God is. It's something that I'm really hungering for.

Maybe we'll see it this summer, maybe we won't. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop praying for it. One thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that God is much bigger, much more gracious, much more generious, much kinder than I can ever imagine.

And if He wills something, it's gonna happen.

I also had to remind myself of this because just recently, my mom came down with "shingles." If you don't know what that is, it's caused by the chicken pox virus that remains dormant after you get it when you're a kid, but when you get old, it can come back full force and cause a lot more pain than just the rash, because it attacks the nerves the second time around.

But knowing that God loves my mom more than I'll ever know, and won't stop looking after her as well as our family leaves a deep, unhindered peace in my heart and soul. And though there are anxieties that still swirl, God is still with us and will never leave or fail us.

It's hard to always stay on top of these basic truths about God, but it's never more important than when our faith gets tested. And when we persevere and hold on to them, Scripture promises that our faith, which is of greater worth than gold, "may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed..."

Lord, increase our faith...

I Surrender

2005-05-11T10:19:00.000-04:00

Man, my brain is toast. I haven't studied like this for over a year now, and my mind physically cannot handle it. I've been trying to get up around 8 am every morning to get started on everything, but I literally cannot open my eyes, and I feel this dense cloud over my head, I guess from all the studying and work it's been doing that it hasn't done in a while. And I end up conking out for like another hour.

But all in all, this has been a good week for my heart. I've been dead-locked focused on studying for these exams, and for some reason, I've been able to keep my heart more pure, and been able to experience God's presence more as I've been driving back and forth from the Borders in Wynnewood, and from the Cherry Hill Public Library last night with Dwight.

It's really hard to describe how much more confident I am to face my day, and to take care of my responsibilities when my heart is fully surrendered to God, and not to any of my fleshly desires. Even though this morning was gloomy, I was able to pray a humble honest prayer for God's help, and for some reason, I don't mind facing this long day of tedious study. In fact, there is a joy in my heart that I really can't explain.

Even though last night, I was whimpering and whining about why in the world do I need to know about the Scottish Reformation, or the Puritan Revolution, or American Presbyterian history in order to be a qualified, ordained pastor. As the Lord has been purifying my heart, and drawing His presence nearer to me, for some weird reason, I don't mind. I don't mind these long hours I have to put in. I don't mind sitting through these 4 exams this weekend.

I'm not a study geek. I'm definitely not called to acadamia. But when God's presence becomes a greater reality in my life, everything I do takes on deeper purpose and significance - no matter how pointless or how trivial it seems.

If you're bored of your life, and the things you do day after day seem so meaningless, just invite God to take a greater hold of your heart and your passions. Not only will you yourself come alive, but you'll start to see God, experience His amazing love in the most unexpected places., and you'll start to love your life in a fresh way. This makes sense because HE alone makes life worth living, and when He's there, everything we do becomes an awesome adventure.

I hope this has encouraged you! :)

"I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:25-26

2005-05-06T15:48:00.000-04:00

It's sad that the school year is now officially over. Thanks to the USP frosh who cooked the soul food for me last night. I hadn't had decent fellowship all week because of my cold and studying, and it just felt so refreshing to just be hanging out with our small group. I gladly gave up my night of studying to be with them - just wasting time having fun at Penn's landing and jamming with the guitar.

This reminds me of how much we were made for relationships. We need people in our lives because we are incomplete without them. My encouragement to anyone who feels like they can live without people, friendships or intimate relationships is this: Let yourself need people. Make yourself less busy and more open because it's only deep relationships that make life worth living.

I've also been on a little upswing in my personal spiritual life. There's nothing like tasting God's love through prayer and His word after a dry spell, to remind me of how worthy and good He is. It makes me want to hate my sin and run after Him so much more. These are the non-negotiables in our lives.

If you've been having a hard time calling God "Friend" lately, then just humbly ask Him to draw closer to you. The joy of His presence will cause your difficult circumstances and frustrations to lose their weight...

Side - If anyone cares to pray for me, I will be studying non-stop from now until next Friday to take my ordination exams next weekend (May 13-14). Please lift me up to the Lord. I'm not used to studying, and it's pretty intense. I will need your prayers and much of God's strength. Thanks a lot!

My Ideal City...

2005-04-29T11:13:00.000-04:00

An interesting thing that ECF students have been putting on their pages...
Becoming more and more convinced that maybe I won't be in Philly forever. If it is the Lord's will, then to Hawaii, it is!

American Cities That Best Fit You:

75% Honolulu

55% Philadelphia

50% Austin

50% Boston

50% Chicago

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Side - Getting ready to speak for a high school Christian club revival meeting tomorrow night - United 05. I'm really looking forward to this. I feel like I haven't been around high school students in a while. Please pray for me, and these students, that the Lord would touch their hearts, and allow His passion and love to overflow in their lives.

My City

2005-04-26T10:36:00.000-04:00

According to this survey I live in the most depressed city in the United States. And quite interestingly, the third happiest city is about 10 minutes from where I grew up. Did I make a wrong move somewhere?

And it seems as though Texas is the happiest state in the US. This explains a lot, from the few Texans I know :)

I caught a cold yesterday. Please pray for me, people....

To Miami

2005-04-21T10:17:00.000-04:00

It's going to be a tough one, people. But I heard Shaq is out for Game 1. All you faithful Jersey fans, let's stick behind our boys! This has been a year full of upsets in every sport. We'll see how Kidd and Carter will crank up the heat in Miami this Sunday!

A Good Return

2005-04-20T15:40:00.000-04:00

As this semester of ministry is coming to a close, I'm again reminded of how precious relationships are. A couple of reminders of this to me were:

The juniors and seniors affirming, embracing, and shedding tears for one another at last Saturday's dinner. I'm not sure if it was nerves that aroused all those emotions, but I do know how much of an impact that they all had on each other's lives. It made me long for the simple, intimate friendships I had back in my college days.
The potential of the freshmen class to be such a powerful ministry team in the years to come, in their example of unity and friendship. These guys hang out every night at Houston Hall to study together, they quickly see past differences, they accept each other, and they just enjoy being together. It doesn' t matter if they're studying, playing, or doing nothing. If you can't enjoy long, uninterrupted moments with the people closest to you, then you're missing something very valuable.
Spending time with my fellow pastor friends/my office mate/and housemates, just spending time talking about our futures - contemplating what our future ministries, families, and love lives are going to be like. I don't know if I can go any further without close friends.
Growing in my love for the peope that God has called me to serve. It's sad to think how fast this semester and year has flown by. I wish I had a few more small groups, large groups, and fellowship activities just to see the precious faces of those who have become more than just students, but family to me. I don't want any of them to fade into the recesses of my memory. I want to contine to live life with them, be there at their pivotal moments of life - when they graduate, get married, etc. (As long as they don't get there before me...)

Relationships are so important. Let's never get too old or busy for them. God had blessed us with them for a purpose - to enrich and enhance our lives, to be even more fruitful for His glory. Please hold on to every meaningful relationship you have....

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesisates 4:9-12

Gettin' Ready

2005-04-14T20:27:00.000-04:00

I've had many conversations recently with older brothers who are getting ready to get married. At the same time, I've stumbled upon different reading materials about marriage, and all the struggles and costs that come with it. And so, I've come to the difficult conclusion that I'm not ready to get married yet. It doesn't mean I won't, but I don't FEEL ready.

Of course, this could all change tomorrow, but as I'm really thinking soberly about this, there's alot that God needs to change in me - my character, relational habits, my integrity, personal purity, my passion for His Kingdom - all of which are required to build and strengthen a God-honoring marriage, and all of which I can really improve in right now...

It takes a lot to really be able to settle down, and commit to loving one person singlemindedly for the rest of one's life. I can't wait for it to happen, but I don't want to ruin anyone's life, by giving myself, the way I am now, to them.

Maybe I've just been a little hard on myself lately, as God has been revealing some of the darkness in my heart and some of the skeletons from my past to me.

But whoever God brings into my life one day, I want to be faithful to honor and cherish her to my last dying day. I don't want to be a source of pain to my future family. I want to be ready.

Goodness, I hope too many people don't read this post...It's the most vulnerable I've been about this topic... sheesh

The Crowns of Life

2005-04-12T18:23:00.000-04:00

I went up to Rutgers yesterday for the annual KCF alumni night. This was my first time to one of these things ever since I graduated. Sadly, none of my old friends from the class of 01 was there. In fact, I was the second oldest there next to Pastor Dwight.

Nonetheless, I had a great time - seeing my sister and the other officers serving and running this night reminded me of the simplicity and purity of my faith when I was serving KCF a few years back, not really knowing what I was doing. I don't ever remember praying as much as I did during those years - trusting every single detail to God before ever attempting anything.

I was so encouraged to see KCF still being faithful and pressing on, when I can clearly remember how hard it was to lead and do everything as a student. He's still faithfully using His people. He doesn't call people who have everything put together - only those who have humble faith and are willing to be led. I was fully reminded of this last night.

Let us not forget where our true crowns lie - the crown of life that will be awarded us on the day that Christ returns, and all the people that we led into His heavenly Kingdom. These are the things that will never fade away. May we all invest well, no matter where we are, in the things that are eternal and that will outlast us.

Faithful When I Am Faithless

2005-04-10T18:25:00.000-04:00

I was extremely blessed by Jeff Liu's testimony this morning at church. I was in tears from beginning to end. I first met him when I was proctoring their members' exam last Sunday, and I could tell right away that God had a special hand on this brother.

There are probably very few things in life that put a wind in my sails, melt my heart and cause me to reach harder for God than hearing a recent convert's testimony. It wasn't just a simple recount of a new awareness of spiritual things - this brother, who once lived hard and fast, met a Savior, someone who reached into his life and loved him more than he'll ever know - and he stood before hundreds in our church today, and testified to a salvation so great and amazing.

I want to really thank Billy and Juwon who saw something in this brother and reached out to him at just the right time. (Jeff doesn't look like the most approachable person...) They reminded me that God really uses people to reveal His love and character. And because they did that, a lost sheep was brought into the fold, and even as we were applauding his baptism today, there were multitudes in heaven rejoicing and singing.

Thanks, Billy and Juwon for not thinking about yourselves and loving somebody who needed it. Thanks, Jeff for a testimony that broke a self-righteous sinner like me. Thank You, God for being faithful when we are faithless...

Manouch!

2005-04-01T16:52:00.000-05:00

Thanks to everyone who prayed for me this week while I was slaving away at these ordination papers. I finished around 1 pm yesterday thinking I was done, then I realized that I also had to submit a 30-minute sermon on a selected passage. It's a good thing I type fast. I'm not sure of the quality of the sermon, but I miraculously finished in time to bring everything to the Copy Center at Penn, put the spiral binding and plastic covers on them, and mail it out before they closed.

After that, I picked up my message on friendship from church, picked up Jimmy Choi, and drove down to the capital city to speak for the Hope fellowship at George Washington University. That section of DC is really beautiful. I had a great time down there. They met in a classroom just like the one we meet in for our small group, so I felt right at home, and they were very welcoming.

Afterwards, I had an amazing hot dog at a place called Manouch - a little food truck owned by a man from Iran right on campus. It was very spicy and it had this amazing sauce on it - called the GW special - greeeat stuff.

It's been an intense week, but I'm thankful more and more for the Everlasting Arms that hold me, and carry me when I'm too weak to do anything. And when I take steps of faith in my weakness, He surprises me with the things He can do through me.

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God." Psalm 20:7

Choose Life

2005-04-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

Deuteronomy 30:19 - "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose LIFE, so that you and your children may life..."

John 14:6 - Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and LIFE..."

I think many have voiced their opinions already, so all I want to say is how sad I am over the passing of Terry Schiavo's life. It really reflects a lot about what our nation has become - and how almost everything has become a left vs. right issue, and the sanctity of life has become very incidental when it's the most serious issue at hand.

I won't say much more on this - before I draw a lot of hate comments from people I don't know. But Jesus Christ is truly the hope for our world today. And in times like this, I can't help but to beg Him for His mercies upon our nation - who has trivialized and messed around with the life that He came to abundantly give.

As my calling unfolds day by day, year by year, I pray that my life and ministry would increasingly reflect the values and the heart of Christ in a more powerful, visible way...

Love Without Condition

2005-03-31T10:02:00.000-05:00

I've been papering away in my office non-stop since Sunday night. I've written more pages of 'stuff' this week then I did in one year of college combined. I'm on my 50th page of typing, and this computer monitor is starting to blur every five mintues, and my eyes are starting to cross...

To be honest, there were several points where I wanted to complain. "This presbytery is SO unreasonable - making me write bundles of jumble just so I could be one of them!" I felt like a prisoner... It wasn't that bad, but there were a lot of things that I took for granted.

Last night, the Lord really rebuked me at the Ginny Owens concert. Here was a devoted servant, who is more inconvenienced than I ever will be, with her blindness, and her heart has been making beautfiul music of praise and ministry that testifies so powerfully to God's all-sufficient power. My heart was breaking as soon as she stepped on the stage, and it broke even more when she walked off.

Her testimonies spoke of a real person, with real struggles, but one who depended on Christ literally for every step she took and every decision she made.

We live in a pretty spoiled generation with everything that we need. What have we really done with our lives and for this world? I couldn't help but wonder last night what kind of life I would live if God were to take away my sight, or anything else that I take for granted.

Even as I'm laboring away at this office, I never want to forget that I was once a dead man who is alive; a blind man who can now see. This is truly 'love without condition.' And everything I do for Him, I want to do with all my heart...

-side- please pray for me as i go down tonight to GW to speak for their fellowship. I'm pretty excited. I don't get too many opportunities to see our nation's capital. What an awesome way to celebrate the completion of my gruesome papers.

The Journey Continues...

2005-03-28T11:55:00.000-05:00

It's been an exciting Lent journey filled with much spiritual battle yet fresh glimpses into the heart and character of Christ. I feel like it would be a waste to completely stop posting up my convictions and the things the Lord is revealing to me.

So, though I will not be posting as frequently, I will be expanding the topics of my posts to broader things - personal stories, devotionals, opinions, etc.

Thank you to all who have been making an effort to read these blogs and letting me know that I didn't just write them for myself :).

As we all journey on from here, let us allow Christ to renew our hearts day by day, so that we will not fall into Satan's temptations and traps. Let's avoid indulging our flesh and breaking our "Lents" too abruptly like savages, but remember the joy of sharing in Christ's sufferings.

One prayer request: I really need to finish these ordination papers by this Thursday. Please pray for me that I will be diligent and faithful. Finishing these papers and doing them well will reflect my character and faith more than anything, so I want to do my best. Thanks...

Do Over!

2005-03-26T15:55:00.000-05:00

"I just wish I had another chance." "I wish I could start this day all over again." "If I could only go back to that moment where I made that terrible choice." "I would do thing so differently." "Why in the world did I do that? Look what it did to me!"

I don't know about you, but my heart screams these words more times than I want to admit. There are conversations that ended sourly that I desperately want back. There are choices that I made that I so badly wish I can go back and reverse. There were terrible first impressions and judgments that I made that killed potentially great relationships. And I'm kicking myself to this day for those foolish decisions.

We often come to places in our lives where we helplessly come face to face with our failures, and it's a scary place to be. And the scariest thing is that we often DON'T get those chances back. What's done is done, and there's nothing that you and I can do about it.

I want to turn our attention to apostle Peter, who must have felt this times a hundred after he denied ever knowing Jesus three times, in utter fear of sharing the same fate as Him.

He had just royally stabbed Jesus in the front and it's bad enough that he knew what he did was bad and felt guilty about it, but according to Luke, Jesus heard everything he said.

This all came from a man who swore in front of everyone that He would follow Jesus to the grave, and even drew a sword as He was being arrested. But he feared man and treasured his life so much, that he couldn't live up to his claim.

Can you imagine how much the guilt must have crippled him? From the moment the rooster crowed, to the moment that he saw Jesus draw his last breath... How could he not feel partly responsible for all that had happened?

And on this Saturday, between Good Friday and Easter, if I were Peter, I would have felt like the biggest loser in the world. My Teacher and Friend just got brutally killed, and the last thing he saw me do was curse the sky swearing that I never knew Him.

He, along with the other 10 disciples who fled, must have felt so low at this point. (Keep in mind that they weren't expecting Jesus to rise again the following morning.)

The next morning, Mary Magdalene (John 20) runs to Peter to tell him that Jesus' body was no longer in the tomb. Peter, with John, immediately runs to the tomb. Can you imagine what he's thinking as he's running?

I imagine that he's excited as he's running. Could it be true? Is He alive? I HAVE to see! But wait...Oh shoot...what if He's still hurt by what I did... His footsteps start to slow down. What am I going to say? This is going to be so awkward. He knows what I did to Him... He stops. But I WANT to see Him! I WANT to make things right! He starts running again. But He saw what I did. I am the worst friend in the world. He slows down again.

I imagine that this thought process repeated a few times before He finally made it to the tomb, where he sees that it is true: it's empty and Jesus isn't there. Oh man. It IS true...

And we all know how this story ends. In John 21, on that unforgettable morning on the seashore, Jesus reveals His amazing capacity to forgive and reinstate, as He recommissions Peter three times (once for every denial) to feed His sheep and to die for His name.

And Jesus didn't just forgive Peter a little. He forgave Him all the way. He restored him not just as His disciple and messenger, but as His dear friend. He gave Peter the second chance that you and I all long for so many times in our lives. He took away his shame and guilt and allowed him to go forth from that day to be a powerful proclaimer of the Gospel.

We are all mistake-prone sinners who need constant mercy and forgiveness. But the message of the cross is that though we've made some terrible choices, and though we may never get those choices back, every day by His grace, we get new choices and opportunites to let God re-build our lives up from where we are.

Someone once defined forgiveness as this: That God would trust me once more in the very places where I disgraced Him the most.

This has been my story and the story of every Christian since the day we accepted Christ. When we fail, He's waiting with arms wide open saying, "Come back, my child. Let's try this again. I will help you, and I promise to always be with you."

This is my favorite part of the gospel, because it brings hope to weaklings like me. I can face the future with confidence because Jesus is the One holding it. And He DOES extend to me a second chance. It's not a new first chance, but it is a fresh second beginning where I can, once more, begin to live for His glory.

And let us not forget, Jesus never forgives us just so that we can go on with our lives, business as usual. He gives us a clean heart so that we can grow and serve Him with all that we are.

Let's linger a little bit longer at the cross - meditate a little more on His sacrifice. And tomorrow morning, we will dance and celebrate like we've never done before, thanking Him for mercy...for giving us a new lease on life...

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know, He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

Silence Of The Lamb

2005-03-25T12:35:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how quiet Jesus was during the several hours leading up to His conviction and death. His tenderness and obedience to the Father's will became more fully revealed as the hours passed by.

As He's being arrested and bound, He doesn't resist or say a thing, except for when Peter retaliated with a sword. And even then, He chooses to heal.

As the Jewish rulers and the Sanhedrin are accusing Him and spitting on Him, He doesn't say much except to comment on what has already been said about Him. He even appeals to their own witness.

He doesn't even budge or say a single word to Herod, the governor of Galilee.

And as He's brought before Pilate, the insecure governor of Judea, He keeps the conversation brief and to the point, simply pointing out that His kingdom was not of this world.

After Pilate hands Him over to be flogged, mocked and beaten by his goonsmen, Jesus silently takes it as they play blind man's bluff with Him. Prophesy to us, you Christ! Who is it that struck You?

They nail Him to the cross, spit on Him, taunt Him, but all that is heard are grunts of pain. No words. If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross! He saved others, but He cannot save Himself!

At this point, I'm baffled at why He doesn't at least zip their mouths. There were legions of angels just WAITING on the edge of their seats for the word. Just one command. And end of story.

Hundreds of years earlier, the prophet Isaiah said about Jesus, "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth, He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth." (Isaiah 53:7)

Lambs and sheep are the only animals who do not resist and make a sound when they are about to be butchered and slaughtered. They know their fate and in a very spooky way, they are deathly silent.

This was Jesus. The ONLY innocent, sinless Man ever to walk this earth. The sins of billions of people dumped on Him. The unhindered wrath of His Father poured out on Him.

He willingly accepts His fate. And while dying, He does some profound things. He thinks about others first. "He forgave the men who had done the deed. He arranged care for His mother. He welcomed a shriven thief into paradise" (Yancey, p 201).

And to end it all, we hear a desperate cry of a child who had been abandoned by His Father: "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?"

But here is where the victory was won. In His silence. Through His suffering. By His submission. The wisdom, glory, and power of God came onto full display as His Son hung shamefully before His accusers, and they, in fact, were the ones who were humiliated and put to open shame.

As the apostle Paul would write decades later, "And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, truimphing over them by the cross." - Colossians 2:15

Even a gruff Roman soldier couldn't deny who that Man was who his buddies had just inhumanely tortured.

"At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split...When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were TERRIFIED and exclaimed, 'Surely He was the Son of God!'" - Matthew 27:51,54

How often do we find the urge to stick up for ourselves who are so unholy and unfaithful? But the most righteous person in history says nothing when He had to take on ALL of our unholiness and unfaithfulness and suffer the cruel consequences of it.

The message of this Good Friday is so simple, yet so deep. Someone took our place. And He didn't put up a fight, because He dearly loved us.

Will you receive His love today? Whether you've never been to church, or this is your 26th Good Friday, like me? Will you receive His mercy and grace unending?

Jesus, keep me near the cross , there a precious fountain
Free to all, a healing stream flows from Calvary's mountain

In the cross, in the cross, be my glory ever
Till my raptured soul shall find rest beyond the river.

Near the cross, a trembling soul, love and mercy found me
There the bright and morning star sheds its beams around me.

The Garden Of Tears

2005-03-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

It's the night before He's going to die. He knew this was going to happen all along. He spoke about it with such passion and urgency. His soul is troubled and overcome with sorrow.

For the first time, we see Jesus so vulnerable and weak. One of His faithful followers had just left to betray Him for money. The rest of His disciples are still so confused over what kind of Kingdom He was going to establish. He knew that any minute, a crowd armed with clubs and swords would come to arrest Him. And He knew that His closest friends there would run away and abandon Him.

He's in the darkness of a garden surrounded by olive groves, underneath the coolness of the night spring breeze. He was alone and deathly afraid.

He asked his top three disciples to stay awake with Him. How many times in the past three years did He always pray by Himself. But tonight, He needed His friends to be there for Him, but they couldn't even watch and pray for one hour.

He was left by Himself to battle this fierce desire to find a way out - to avoid the cup of suffering and wrath. His sweat became like blood because He was under so much stress.

But He prays - He prays hard, because that is the only thing left for Him to do. He knows His Father's ways are right, but the idea of bearing the sin of the entire world becomes too much - even for the Son of God. How can this be done?

But He's the ONLY One who can do this - conquer the gates of hell and sin, and save humanity from spiritual death.

If He doesn't, then who else is going to do it? If He took the easy way by force, how would the Kingdom of God ever advance like a mustard seed, through humility and love?

He ends with this battle cry, "Yet not my will, but Yours be done."

This is the beauty of Christ. In that garden of tears, He saw you and me:

"Jesus, the carpenter, implores. Jesus, the man, peers into the dark pit and begs, 'Can't there be another way?'

Did He know the answer before He asked the question? Did His human heart hope His heavenly Father had found another way? We don't know. But we do know He asked to get out...

But He couldn't.

He couldn't because He saw you. Right there in the middle of a world which isn't fair. He saw you cast into a river of life you didn't request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body which gets sick and a heart which grows weak.

He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave.

He saw you in your Garden of Gethsamane - and He didn't want you to be alone.

He wanted you to know that He has been there, too. He knows what it's like ot be plotted against. He knows what it's like to be confused. He knows what it's like to be torn between two desires. He knows what it's like to smell the stench of Satan. And, perhaps most of all, He knows what it's like to beg God to change His mind and to hear God say so gently, but firmly, 'No.'

For that is what God says to Jesus. And Jesus accepts the answer. At some moment during that midnight hour an angel of mercy comes over the weary body of the Man in the garden. As He stands, the anguish is gone from His eyes. His fist will clench no more. He heart will fight no more.

The battle is won..." (Max Lucado, And The Angels Were Silent)

Brothers and sisters, let's join Jesus in the garden tonight, as He wrestled with His own flesh and cried out for mercy and deliverance.

Many of us are in that place. But the difference with us is that we are NOT alone. Jesus was there 2000 years ago, and He'll be there with you tonight, and EVERY night, no matter how much the pain gets for you.

Thank Him for submitting to His Father's will - we would be utterly doomed if He hadn't. And let's ask that we would do the same.

Miracles

2005-03-23T10:55:00.000-05:00

A few years back, there was this popular song out that went, "There can be miracles when you believe, though hope is frail, it's hard to kill..." It inspired many people to think that every once in a while, if you really, really believed and had faith, there was a good chance that you could see something supernatural happen in your life - something out of the ordinary.

I really liked this song as well as the movie, The Prince of Egypt, but it got me thinking a lot, because I had rarely seen miraculous things happen in my life. I've seen God provide money for my family and for missions support, I've passed tests that I barely studied for, and I even just recently saw the Red Sox win a World Series.

But my only exposure to truly supernatural occurrences were second-hand accounts of things that happened to OTHER people - one brother once shared with me that he had no money driving home on the NJ Turnpike, and out of nowhere, some change miraculously appeared in his passenger's seat - the EXACT amount he needed to pay toll to get off of his exit.

Miracles are wonderful things, and I do believe that they can happen, but what does it all mean? What is God's purpose in showing us His miraculous power from time to time?

As I was reading Philip Yancey's chapter on Jesus' miracles in The Jesus I Never Knew (please read this, if you haven't), a lot of things began to make sense to me.

If you read the gospels carefully, you'll notice that Jesus was very selective, and almost inconsistent in the way that He performed miracles. He didn't heal EVERY blind man, leper, or paralytic that was alive during His time. In fact, it was only a small handful, in a world that was FILLED with desperate, hurting people that got to experience healing and liberation.

Why did He JUST raise Lazarus? Why did He JUST fix Bartimaeus' blindness? Why just THOSE 10 lepers? Why just that ONE bleeding woman? What difference would Jesus make in just showing His power to these few people? What was His agenda?

And again, I'll just quote Yancey who put it far more eloquently than I can:
"I readily concede that Jesus, with a few dozen healings and a handful of resurrections from the dead, did little to solve the problem of pain on this planet. That is not why He came. Nevertheless, it was in Jesus' nature to counteract the effects of the fallen world during His time on earth. As He strode through life, Jesus used supernatural power to set right what was wrong. Every physical healing pointed back to a time in Eden when physcial bodies did not go blind, get crippled, or bleed nonstop for 12 years - and also pointed forward to a time of re-creation to come...

"The miracles He did perform, breaking as they did the chains of sickness and death, give me a glimpse of what the world was meant to be and instill hope one day that God will right its wrongs. To put it mildly, God is no more satisfied with this earth than we are; Jesus' miracles offer a hint of what God intends to do about it...

"Some see miracles as an implausible suspension of the laws of the physical universe. As signs, though, they serve just the opposite function. Death, decay, entropy, and destruction are the true suspensions of God's laws; miracles are the early glimpses of restoration. In the words of Jurgen Moltmann, 'Jesus' healings are not supernatural miracles in a natural world. They are the only truly 'natural' things in a word that is unnatural, demonized, and wounded..."

I can't help but choke up as I'm typing these words. Every once in a while, God will show up and do something for us that we normally don't see. It might be an amazing public display of His power (healing cancer), or a private miracle that doesn't make the front headlines (receiving money for next month's rent).

But in every little thing that God does for me, He shows me that He's busily at work making things right - the way everything was naturally supposed to be before sin messed things up. That gives me so much hope.

The greatest miracle in my life is my own salvation. And every morning, I experience His miraculous mercy and grace, so that I can wake up to see another day, and not experience His judgment for my heinous sins.

Do I believe in miracles? Of course, they're all over the Bible, and I myself am a miracle.

But what do I really believe about them? I believe that they are not the works of a wondrous magician, but a merciful, compassionate Savior who is daily making me more whole and complete, by His powerful grace.

Let's be encouraged by this, this Passion Week. Open your eyes, and see the miracles that are already going on, and find hope for your weary soul.

You Are Never Alone

2005-03-22T11:26:00.000-05:00

Burnout in the Christian life is no unfamiliar thing. There are so many things, at least for me, that contribute to this feeling of wanting to quit, discouragement, or hopelessness. Heavy responsibilities, habitual sins, lack of relational support, lack of free time, etc.

I felt a lot of this when I woke up this morning. It's been a long weekend and I've had many different burdens to bear. And having been there so many times in my life, I couldn't find any sort of resolve to fight. (just one of those mornings...)

But the word of God came to me in a precious way this morning from John 14-15, reminding of some basic truths that will never change.

And the main theme was: God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are ALWAYS at work in my life, and I am NEVER alone.

There were two promises that I received from God this morning.
The first promise that came to me is from 14:16. He had just gotten through telling us to love Him and to obey Him. But afterwards, He adds to that command "And I will ask the Father (He's praying for me!) and He will give you another Counselor to be with you FOREVER."
And in verse 17, He also says that, "He will be with you and will be IN YOU."

Jesus NEVER leaves us alone in our struggles, weakness, and burnouts. He is constantly pleading with the Father on our behalf, and even further, He asks that we will receive the Holy Spirit, who will be with us, not just when we need help or anointing, but FOREVER! That comforted me SO much this morning. I am never alone.

And He doesn't just indwell us just to be there. Jesus also says in verse 26, "...the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in MY NAME, will TEACH YOU ALL THINGS, and REMIND YOU OF EVERYTHING..."

The Spirit of God, who lives inside of us, will never stop instructing us and guiding us in the ways that we're called to live. And if we forget, He'll be there to remind us. And He's not just going to teach us and remind us of a few things, but ALL THINGS - EVERYTHING that we need to be strong and to fight spiritual battle.

The second promise came to me from John 15, which describes God the Father as the gardener, and Jesus as the true vine. And the promise is simply that God will continue to prune me and help me to grow, so that I can be a better branch and bear greater fruit for His glory - "fruit that will LAST."

Sometimes when ministry gets difficult, and it seems like I'm not being used at all, it's so easy for me to blame myself and get down on myself. A lot of times, it IS my fault, but this promise was SO encouraging to me in that it was GOD HIMSELF who called me and "appointed me" (15:16) to bear lasting fruit.

And if this is what He wants from me, then He's going to see to it that it happens. I need to do my part to surrender and faithfully "remain in Him" (15:4) every day, but He's doing all the hard work and pruning, so that I can be "even more fruitful" (15:2). And the whole point of it all is: "This is to My Father's GLORY that you bear MUCH FRUIT..." (15:8)

His glory is at stake, and He will complete His work in abd through me, no matter what happens to me, or what I do or fail to do.

Brothers and sisters, don't EVER feel that you are alone in your struggles to stay faithful, to stay pure, and to bear fruit for Christ. You are NEVER ALONE. There is such a greater power at work in your lives than what you can generate on your own human strength.

We're being "triple-teamed" by a triune God who loves us and will never leave or fail us. What more do you need? Let's let our hearts rest in this today, especially if we're discouraged and burnt out.

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I was so encouraged by our fourth year USP-ers yesterday at USP Praise Night (James, Jenn, Anna, Daisy...) Seeing their unwavering faithfulness and love for this campus made it so much easier to speak last night. They're actually very good at leading praise. We'll probably see them doing it more often... :)

Whatever You Ask

2005-03-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

Passion Week has started. It is also the first day of spring. Right now, all I can think about is good weather and Rita's water ice. I've forgotten the sweet taste of a mango gelati melting in my mouth and sliding down my throat on a summer day. I can't have one right away, but it will come in due time...

I came across a familiar passage that spoke to me so deeply this morning. Since it's short, I can quote the whole thing:
"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in ME will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it..." John 14:12-14

As I woke up this morning, all I could think about were the things that I want for myself. Underneath Rita's water ice on that list is a plethora of things that I feel like will satisfy me and make my flesh very happy - a fulfilling ministry, fulfilling relationships, a new laptop, Shao Lun Kung Chinese food, etc.

It's interesting that here in this passage, Jesus says that He would do "whatever I ask" and that "I can ask Him for anything," and He will do it. What an awesome promise that is! Jesus wasn't joking either. He pretty much COULD do whatever I ask - He has that kind of power. He can give me any of the above mentioned things in a heartbeat.

Not only that but Jesus is so generous in the way that He gives to us - much more generous and much richer than we can ever imagine.

But so often I miss the three words that come afterwards, "IN MY NAME" - in JESUS' name.

Jesus had just gotten through telling His disciples that He was the only way, truth, and life. It is through Him alone that we can experience any kind of life, know His truth, and find our way to the Father in heaven. There is NOTHING we can do or know of eternal significance unless it is through Jesus' name.

And He also adds these words in verse 13, "so that the Son may bring glory to the Father..." During His earthly life and even now, there is nothing that Jesus is willing to do unless it would bring glory to the Father.

As I think about this, it's no wonder that in my prayer life, when I know that I'm praying for something that is CLEARLY the will of God, there is so much power and confidence in those prayers. But when I ask for something that I want selfishly, there is this tinge of guilt and doubt that maybe I'm not praying for the right things.

I'm confident that God wants to pour out so much of His blessings in my life, my ministry, and relationships. But I need to settle in my heart FIRST that I'm asking these things in Jesus' name and that the deepest desire of my heart is for the Son to bring glory to the Father.

The Lord will provide for me material and relational blessings in due time. But only inasmuch as those things will be used in my life for the greater glory of God - only when my heart and will are surrendered. And when I understand that, my prayer life is so much more focused and there is a profound sense of peace that strengthens and guards my heart.

This is the beauty of Jesus. He knows what we need, and He also knows what we want. He's not ignorant of what's inside our hearts.

But He'll give us what we need and what we want in their proper time - when they are necessary for us to serve the Lord and bring glory to His name in greater measures - because it's in that name that we pray.

And when we do that, we will receive the power to "do even greater things that these..." What an awesome promise... Will you join me as I build my prayer life on these amazing truths during this Passion week?

You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it...

What A Friend I've Found

2005-03-19T17:51:00.000-05:00

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus - Friend forever...

Last night's message was so challenging for me - both to give it, and to hear it for myself.

Jesus drew a certain crowd to Himself - a crowd that would probably feel very uncomfortable in our church and even around me today. Simon the Leper, the sinful woman, Zacchaeus the jerk, Matthew the traitor tax collector...I wonder how people like them would feel walking into our morning service at Emmanuel, or our Friday large group?

It breaks my heart to think that they would probably feel judged, ignored, and feel worse than they already feel about themselves. It's not anyone's fault in particular, because we're not used to seeing those kind of 'down-and-out' people. We simply wouldn't know what to do or say if we saw them, because we're not prepared for it.

But as I was reading ch 8 of Yancey's book (which I still HIGHLY recommend), and preparing last night's message, I realize that Jesus' mission and the early church looked MUCH different than ours.

He made the sinners feel so comfortable, while He made the highly religious folk feel very uncomfortable.
Yancey honestly writes, "Projecting myself back into Jesus' time, I try to picture the scene. The poor, the sick, the tax collectors, sinners, and prostitutes crowd around Jesus, stirred by His message of healing and forgiveness. The rich and powerful stand on the sidelines, testing Him, spying, trying to entrap Him. I know these facts about Jesus' time, and yet, from the comfort of a middle-class church in a wealthy country like the U.S., I easily lose sight of the radical core of Jesus' mission..."

I think I've lost sight of it, too.

As I've been journeying with Jesus this season, I can't ignore or get away from His heart for these kinds of people... It's nagging me to no end. He came "not to call the righteous, but sinners." He LOVES these kinds of unlovable people, and it pierces my heart so sharply, as I realize how numb I am to the poor, sick, oppressed, and outcast in our community, and in our larger world.

What value changes do I need to make? What priority changes do I need to make? How does my HEART need to change?

I need to taste and see the grace of God again. I, too was once a weak, helpless, and broken sinner. In fact, that perfectly describes me some days, when I grossly offend God and His holiness, and I feel so ashamed to look up to heaven. But He bled and died for me, to restore dignity and hope to my soul, and I am, by no merit of my own, His chosen precious child.

How humbling and liberating is this rich gospel...

Let's learn to see others, as Yancey quotes Irenaeus, to look at the world through "grace-healed eyes." Because it's only then, that we'll see things the way God does, and we can have a profound impact on this world - a world full of "sinners" who need to see a God who was willing to recline at a dinner table with them...a God who wants to be their Friend.

And I want to join them in their hearts' song, "What a Friend I've found...what a hope I've found..."

Passion week starts tomorrow. This journey is going to get a little more intense. I plan on fasting multiple days this week, just to make sure that NOTHING will distract me from seeing Jesus as He spent His last week on earth.

Let's get ready...

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus - Friend forever

Few Thoughts...

2005-03-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

I spent some extra time this morning, in deeper meditation of John 10:27 - 14:14, and I was blown away by a few things.

The Triumphal Entry
The first thing that awestruck me was the way Jesus DREW people to Himself, like a magnet. The Pharisees exlaimed in 12:19 - "Look how the whole world has gone after Him!" after seeing a great crowd of Jews run to Jesus as He was entering Jerusalem on a donkey, and they were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is the King of Israel!"

It could very well have been just the miracles they wanted to see, but you couldn't escape His raw compassion and love that people were instinctively drawn to. They ran to Him, because they saw something in Him that they desperately needed.

Verses 9, 17, and 18 just tell of how the crowds just couldn't control themselves - like junior high girls running after boy band stars, they couldn't stay away from Jesus. They spread the word about Him, they ran after Him, and they were dying to meet Him.

And in verses 20-21, we see that even Gentiles (the Greeks) came because they wanted to see Jesus. We see clearly His plan of redemption unfolding, as both Jews and Gentiles are coming to know Christ and be saved.
Feet Washing
It's interesting to see what happened AFTER Jesus finished washing His disciples feet. In 13:12, John records that "When He had finished washing their feet, He put on His clothes and returned TO HIS PLACE."

Though He had just assumed to role of a lowly servant , He had to remind them that He was still their "Teacher" and "Lord" as He makes very clear in verse 13. So, He didn't just wash their feet to get rid of the dirt and odor. He was there to teach them a lesson that they needed to learn.

Verse 14 - "Now that I, YOUR LORD and TEACHER, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet...you should do as I have done for you."

Understanding who Jesus was to them, especially after He established His lordship and rule over them, this visual lesson of servantood must have went deep and gripped them for a very long time
Jesus' Emotions
I always thought that when Judas left to betray Jesus, that Jesus wasn't too affected by it. I mean, He knew all along what was going to happen. 13:11 even says, "For He knew who was going to betray Him..."

So surely Jesus, knowing that this was Judas' intent, expected it and just watched it happen. But John notes in verse 21 that Jesus was "TROUBLED IN SPIRIT" - the same words used to describe Jesus' emotions when He saw Mary weeping over Lazarus in ch 11 - before He testified, "I tell you the truth, one of you is going to betray Me."

We sometimes forget that Judas walked with Jesus for 3 years as His close friend, and Jesus loved Him very much.

But Jesus allowed Himself to experience betrayal firsthand, and how much it wounds the human heart - and this just stresses even further how Christ is fully able to identify with our deepest hurts and emotions.

This also serves to remind me how much my own sin affects His heart, like a Father seeing His own child rebel against Him. Sin is more than just a moral misdeed - it's a personal offense against a God who loves us and died for us. He hurts when we sin - may we never forget that.
Jesus' Love
Lastly in 13:33, we see Jesus addressing His disciples for the first time as "My children" - a very endearing term meaning "my little ones." Jesus' heart for them is getting deeper and His love is being more fully revealed, as He knows that He is going to be leaving them very soon. He was emotionally attached to them.

He was more than a Teacher and a Savior. He was a deeply loving, caring Father whose heart for His own ran MUCH deeper than the heart of any human being ever could.

If there's anything that we'll remember this Lent season, let us not forget the great love that God has shown us through His Son, Jesus Christ. Let's run to Him as the crowds did, let us acknowledge Him as "Lord" and "Teacher," let us realize how much He is affected by our sin, and let us bask in the unconditional, everlasting love that is ours in Christ Jesus.

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Please pray for me as I preach about the compassion and love of Christ tonight at ECF large group. Pray that the eyes of all the hearts of our students would see and savor Jesus for who He is, and be satisfied so deeply as He gives Himself to us.

The Servant King

2005-03-17T12:22:00.000-05:00

The older we get and the more we advance in life, the more difficult it is to lower ourselves to do the dirty work that should be left for those below us (i.e. college freshmen :) )

I'm not always ready to go out of my way to clean bathrooms, do dishes that aren't mine, pick up after other people's messes, give rides to every last person that needs it, etc. And the questions that loom in my mind are: Do you have any idea who I am? Don't you know that I have more important things to do? Why should I bother?

Then I'm brought to this amazing account that reveals the servant heart of Christ in John 13, where Jesus washed the feet of His disciples.

Now, I've washed people's feet before on missions and different youth retreats, and though it's not a pleasant thought, it's not nearly as bad as if you had to do it back in Jesus' time.

First of all, there were no such thing as socks back then, and the footwear of choice was always sandals. And people like the 12 disciples were constantly walking around all day, not on paved roads, but dirt roads where anything (live or dead) could get in between your toes.

And so, if one were to walk into a house for dinner, it was required that either a servant (a very low servant) wash your feet at the entrance, or a basin of water was given to you so that you can wash them yourself.

This all serves to highlight that there's something very wrong with this scene of the last supper in John 13. Their feet were obviously still dirty, and NOBODY was willing to do anything about it.

This makes sense, because all along, these confused disciples had been arguing like cats and dogs over who was going to be the greatest in the kingdom, when Jesus would establish His military and political rule as Messiah. And so, they were all jockeying for position. And certainly the one who would sit at Jesus' right hand wouldn't be the one who has to do the repulsive act of washing the nasty feet of everyone else in the room.

This explains why their feet were still dirty. And it's not like smelly, odious feet were easy to ignore. They all KNEW that someone would have to do it, if they were to eat the Passover Feast with relative comfort. But who? Who's going to humble himself?

Can you now imagine the UTTER SHOCK they must have felt, when their Teacher, their Leader, the One who they all pretty much established as GOD, their Messiah and Savior, got up, took off His outer clothing, wrapped a towel around His waist - taking on a role that was even too low for Jewish slaves - and washed all of their disgusting feet, and even dried them afterwards.

Who is this? Who, in their right mind, would do such a thing? I mean, I would do it for that cute Muslim kid in Africa who never bothered me, but why would I ever do it for these stubborn disciples who had no clue?

His name is Jesus, the Servant King. His humility is SO beautifully displayed in this act - simply because this act of feetwashing, as humiliating as it was, only served to point forward to His greatest act of mercy - His death on the cross.

And it's no surprise that Jesus would end all of this with a poignant teaching point in verses 15-17, "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will BE BLESSED if you do them."

As I get older, it gets harder and harder to take on the role of a servant, especially to people that I feel like are so undeserving of it. But then I look at my Master, and the One who sent me. I'm no greater than He, and I'm called to follow His example, and serve with all my heart. And He promises BLESSING if I obey.

I hope to be a servant before anyone ever calls me a pastor, brother, friend, and one day, a husband and father. This is who Jesus was and is to me, and this is who I want to be.

From heaven You came, helpless Babe,
Entered our world, Your glory veiled
Not to be served, BUT TO SERVE,
And give Your life that we might live.

This is our God, the servant King
He calls us now to follow Him.
To give our lives as a daily offering,
Of worship to the servant King.

So let us learn how to serve,
And in our lives enthrone Him,
Each other's needs to prefer,
For it is Christ we're serving...

Access Never Denied

2005-03-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

One of the worst feelings in the world is rejection - liking someone and they don't like you back, getting rejected from the college/grad school of your first choice, being isolated from the in-group at school or church, forgetting your password and being unable to access your own webpage :) , etc.

We all know the sting and pain of rejection, and the feeling of not being wanted. And it seems like the more we get older, the more it affects us.

But there is something so amazing about the way Jesus Christ entered our world to show us that He has and will never turn us away when we turn our hearts to seek Him.

I took a little detour backwards today in the life of Christ, and listened to a sermon on Luke 2:8-20 where an angel came to a bunch of shepherds to announce the birth of Christ. And what an amazing account this is, as we examine why God came to these men first with the news of His arrival on earth.

Now, we have to understand shepherds back in ancient Palestine...they were the lowest of the low in society. They were poor, uneducated, and dishonest. They had to take care of dirty animals that didn't belong to them, and became almost as dirty as their flock.

They lived impure lives - both physically and morally - and there was nothing that they could do in their own power to change or improve their situation. They were outcasts, and if they tried to become a part of normal society, or even tried to enter a public place of importance, they would surely be rejected.

They knew this, the people knew this, and God certainly knew this. But God came to these shepherds in their humble circumstances to show them and the rest of the world what a humble God He is. And they were told that a Savior was born to them that very night.

When you know how bad you really are, the word "Savior" is probably the most sweet-sounding word that you'll ever hear. And that was the exact effect that this news had on the shepherds.

Furthermore, they were told that this Savior would be in a manger in a barn. For us, we're so used to the Christmas story, that we hardly bat an eye to this anymore, but think about the shepherds. They knew that they can easily go to a barn where a manger was and not be cast out. If this Baby was in a temple or a palace, there was NO way that they would be able to get in.

But they were able to go this humble barn with full confidence. And this serves to show us that God had made Himself accessible to human beings. If we understood what this really means, we should be floored. Think about the heights of glory that Jesus left to become a crying helpless baby born in a donkey's trough. Though He was GREAT, He made Himself low so that we can all find Him.

This is so humbling because as I look at my life, though I'm not that great, I try to exalt myself and make myself less and less accessible to people. Where is the character of Christ in that?

But the beauty of Christ is simply this: That though we're just as low and filthy as those shepherds were on that first Christmas eve, Jesus allows us today to fully know Him, to love Him, to touch Him, to follow Him, and to serve Him.

We have FULL access to Christ, not because of anything righteous that we have done, but becasue of His mercy and death on the cross. What an amazing gospel!

As an applicatoin this Passion season, would you be willing to make yourself more accessible to the people around you, so that they can see the abounding love and grace of God in your life? Because that is what Christ did, and that is what love does...

Perfection From Obedience

2005-03-15T12:51:00.000-05:00

Hebrews 5:8-9 - "Although He (Jesus) was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered and, once made perfect, He became source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him..."

I'm not a perfectionist. I know when I'm called to be excellent, such as in ministry and with studies and I'll usually give my best when I'm called to, but I'm usually satisfied with just getting by in many areas of life. Not too many things bother me (except maybe praise team stuff, just in case, my old BYG praise team is reading this)

I know I'm not called to be perfect in every way, but I can't help, as I look at the heart of Christ, to see that He never wanted to settle for less than perfection.

But what made Him so perfect? He was still a man with human limitations. He experienced weakness, anguish, and pain. What was it about Jesus that marked Him as the ultimate example of perfection?

We'll find one answer as we look into this passage of Hebrews and we're told that it was His OBEDIENCE that made Him perfect in every way - namely, His obedience in suffering.

In verse 7, we're also told that it was His "reverent submission" that caused His prayers to be heard in heaven by the "One who could save Him from death."

This is a theme that we simply cannot escape as we read through the Gospels. Jesus was constantly saying that He was here to do the will of His Father in heaven. His mission was clear and it always came first, and He let nothing sidetrack Him from going all the way to Calvary to die for the sins of the world.

We all strive for perfection in so many ways - being the perfect student, perfect musician, perfect cook, perfect small group leader, etc. But do we really desire in our hearts to be the perfect obedient son or daughter to Christ - who showed us what true obedience really was?

Obedience is no easy thing. I'm not always ready to turn my cheek, to demonstrate self-control, to be humble, to serve, to forgive, etc. In fact, it goes against the grain of everything that my flesh says is right.

But if our food really is to do the will of God, then there really is no option for us. God's word is not just one among many other options for us to choose from. He's our Lord and Master, and we're called to obey no matter how much it hurts.

This is what makes Christ so admirable and beautiful - His silent submission to drink the cup of suffering, because that was the plan from the beginning. He didn't take any short cuts, or try to bend the rules. He obeyed ALL the way.

And as verse 9 promises us, "eternal salvation" is available to us when we obey. As we journey with Jesus to Calvary these next couple of weeks, let's make it our sincere prayer and agenda to grow in our trust and obedience to the One who is constantly instructing us along the path of wisdom, righteousness, and life.

Trust and obey, for there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey...

One Of Us?

2005-03-14T14:42:00.000-05:00

"What if God was one of us?" - Does anyone remember this song by Joan Osborne from back in the 90's? I used to think that it was such a blasphemous song as a teenager, but it's a very universal question that probably many still wrestle over. If God were here on earth, what would He be like? How would He act? What would He look like?

Yesterday at church, we saw a slideshow of the different ways that people have viewed God over the years. Among the many slides were pictures of Billy Graham, George W. Bush, Ned Flanders, Reggie White, Benny Hinn, WWJD bracelets, fish signs, televangelists, the Pope, etc.

As I was watching those slides go by, with Losing My Religion by REM playing in the background, my heart began to break. How is one really to know what God looks like in a world that barely knows Him? If He were really one of us walking around planet earth today, how would anyone recognize Him?

To keep this blog from getting too long, the answer is Jesus. Jesus is God come to earth. It was the ultimate humiliation that God should leave the heights of His majesty to wear human skin, flesh, and blood. But that's exactly what He did as the gospel of John tells us that the living Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.

The only way to know what God looks like is to stare intently at the person of Jesus Christ as He is portrayed to us in His word. Jesus Himself is the "fullness of God" and the "exact representation of His being" as we read in Colossians and Hebrews.

So, we know longer have to guess what God looks like. We don't have to look at religious icons, cartoon characters, or political figures. We don't have to gaze at the stars or throw offerings into volcanoes. Our God can be found in the Person of His only Son.

I think that our churches need to quit playing around, and start preaching Christ as faithfully as we can to a world that is so blind to the reality of God - a God who went through extreme lengths to make Himself knowable to us.

Because He didn't just stop at becoming a human being. He went all the way to experience even the deepest struggles of our flesh. Hebrews 4:15 tells us that He was "tempted in EVERY way, just as we are - yet was without sin..."

What an amazing truth this is, that God has revealed Himself to us! We can know EXACTLY what He looks like. He forgives sinners. He loves the poor. He heals the sick. He accepts immoral people. He shows grace to stuck-up leaders. THIS IS GOD! Take a look!

I don't know if any seekers or unbelievers stumble across this page. But this is who Jesus is to me. He's so beautiful. He is my God. He has forgiven and redeemed me. And my life belongs to Him.

No matter what church we go to, we're going to see a lot of unbelievers, backslidden Christians, and fringe members these next couple of weeks strolling into church services, to ease their consciences. Let us all open wide our hearts, and portray Jesus Christ to them as faithfully as best as we can. He loves them, and He alone can save them.

Resurrection Faith

2005-03-12T10:07:00.000-05:00

There were very few things that Jesus was amazed by when He walked this earth. And the one thing that never failed to astonish Him was faith - faith from even the most unexpected people that Jesus could do the impossible in their lives.

In John 11, in the same account where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, I too was amazed at the faith of Martha, Lazarus' sister. It's almost impossible to picture this scene where Martha runs to Jesus in verse 21 wondering why He didn't show up in time to heal Lazarus, and in the very next verse, she demonstrates amazing resurrection faith - "But I KNOW that even now God WILL give You whatever You ask..." and in verse 24, "I KNOW he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."

How do you say something like while going through tremendous suffering such as grieving over the death of your brother?

I have a hard enough time demonstrating faith like this when I'm stuck in traffic, when ministry isn't going well, when I'm struggling with habitual sin, when I'm angry or depressed, etc. It's not easy for me to even formulate those words in my thoughts.

But Martha's heart was in the right place. It's as though it only took the sight of Jesus' face to quell her fears and disappointments. And not only was her heart quieted, but her faith was empowered.

It's such an easy concept, but one that I struggle with all the time. Is God really looking out for my best interests? Why am I made to wait in this sort of "in-between" stage of my life right now? And, why don't I just stare at Jesus - the One who has been faithful to me from the very beginning?

And this is where I need to join Martha in these words in verse 27, "Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."

She said these words after Jesus' powerful claim that He was the "resurrection and the life" and it's amazing to see how after hearing those words, it's almost as if Martha completely forgot about the situation she was in.

Her response had nothing to do with making her brother well. Jesus, in His power, had invaded her soul and reminded her that no matter what she's going through, He is so far above even the most hopeless of situations.

Does the presence and beauty of Christ have this effect on me? Does it have this effect on you?

We would all do well to carefully examine our hearts, and see what we truly believe about Jesus and His power. He truly is the Son of God - He can make dead men rise, and He can give us hope when life becomes dull and meaningless.

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I had a good time at home these past couple of days. I spent a lot of quiet time by myself, some good quality time with my mom, saw some old college buddies, and ate some of my favorite meals. But the rest of this month will be crazy for me - ministry, getting my ordination papers done, settling some personal issues. These daily devotionals have been exactly what I needed to redirect my heart and faith to the One who is faithful and who will bless me even as He sustains me in my weakness. Glory be to Jesus Christ.

Jesus Wept

2005-03-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

Many of us are very familiar with the shortest verse of the Bible ("Jesus wept." - John 11:35) - a two word phrase that we all have grown to cherish because it reveals to us the tender heart of Christ, who experienced all of our grief, and allowed the sorrow of His close friends to deeply move Him. It's coming from the context where Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha, had died, and Jesus came to the scene where everyone was grieving and mourning. And so, moved by what He saw, Jesus began to weep with them.

But as I'm continuing to follow the life of Jesus through the gospel of John and through Philip Yancey's The Jesus I Never Knew, there are new things about these emotions of Jesus that I'm beginning to discover as I'm learning to read every verse in light of the bigger story that is being told through John and throughout the Bible.

A couple of weeks back, the pastoral staff at Emmanuel were brainstorming to come up with a concise plot summary of the Bible, and we all came up with similar answers: God, in His love and mercy, is redeeming/restoring a fallen world to what it was originally made to be.
In other words: God made, we messed up, God is fixing it.

And so, we need to read every verse in the Bible underneath the greater overarching story of God's redemption, and see what's going on, especialy in the life and ministry of Jesus Christ, His Son.

And I probably won't be able to explain it is well as Yancey, so I'm going to quote him, and then add a few of my own thoughts :) (It might help to read through John 11 before you read this excerpt.)

(p 179-180) "...John does not say why Jesus wept. Since He had already revealed His plans to raise Lazurus from the dead, He surely did not feel the same grief as the devastated mourners. Still, something got to Him. As he approached the tomb, again He felt a spasm, 'groaning in spirit...'

"At this moment, Jesus seemed self-consciously aware of His dual identity, simultaneously the One who came down from heaven and the Son of Man born on earth...
Jesus knew, of course, that Lazarus was now whole and content, in every way better for having shuffled off the moral coil. Martha and Mary knew as much too, theoretically. But unlike Jesus and unlike Lazarus, they had never heard the sounds of laughter from the other side of death.

"That in-between state of loss and pain perhaps explains the source of Jesus' tears. Greek scholars say that the word translated 'deeply moved' conveys more than distress; it implies anger, even rage. At that very moment Jesus Himself hung between two worlds. Standing before a tomb stinking of death gave a portent of what lay before Him in this damned - literally damned - world. That His own death would also end in resurrection did not reduce the fear or the pain. He was human: He had to pass through Golgotha to reach the other side...

"All of us live out our days in the in-between time, the interval of chaos and confusion between Lazarus' death and reappearance. Although such a time may be temporary, and may pale into insignificance alongside the glorious future that awaits us, right now it is all we know, and that is enough to bring tears to our eyes - enough to bring tears to Jesus' eyes."

It doesn't take much to convince us that we live in a world marred by sin and characterized by death- a place so messed up that there are more nights where we lay our heads down confused and bewildered than we care to admit.

But it comforts us to an amazing degree that the heart of Jesus Christ is "deeply moved"; bothered; raged; more disturbed than we ever will be - so much so that He willingly died on a cruel Roman cross to make things right.

And though our hearts and Jesus' heart may shed tears now at the current state of the world around us, we find hope as we journey with Him to Calvary, and see that He is stopping at nothing to make things right and to remove all death from this world forever.

This is the beauty of Christ. May we never lose hope, and get lost in our earthly tears. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, from whom darkness and death hide and flee. Let us rejoice in His victory today, and turn our tears of sorrow into joy and laughter.

I Shall Not Be In Want

2005-03-10T11:15:00.000-05:00

John 10:1-21
It's interesting how after staring at a familiar passage for a long time, how God sometimes just throws new insights at you, and allows your eyes to see it in a fresh way.

Here in John 10, after restoring the blind man's sight in the previous chapter and indicting the Pharisees for their own spiritual blindness, Jesus begins to speak beautifully about being the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep, and whose voice that His sheep are SO familiar with.

He seems to repeat this theme about His voice throughout the whole chapter:
"...the sheep listen to His voice. He calls His own sheep by name..." - v 3
"...His sheep follow Him because they know His voice..." - v 4
"...they do not recognize a stranger's voice..." - v 5
"...I have come that they may have life, and have it to the FULL..." - v 10

It seems as though Jesus is stressing this idea that the fullness of our lives is wrapped up in how well we know our Shepherd's voice, and how ready we are to obey whatever that voice says.

For these helpless sheep, they have no choice. They don't know how to take care of themselves, and have no idea where to go unless somebody guides them.

Yet, it's so interesting that even in their helplessness, they refuse to obey no other voice than the one of their Shepherd who "owns the sheep." - v 12
- a voice that they know SO WELL that they have NO problem recognizing it when it calls.

This reminds me of a testimony of a man named Rev. Conant who lived until the age of 99, when he announced to the Biblical Seminary faculty that he had just received a calling to be a full-time missionary to Russia - at the age of 99!

And these were his words: "And I heard and recognized the voice of God JUST AS I HAD DONE FOR SO MANY YEARS..."
This man knew His Shepherd's voice so well.

Even as I am journeying with Jesus this Lent season, this is ONE spiritual lesson that I do not want to miss - to know and become SO familiar with the voice of the One who is leading me.

It's so hard to obey when there are so many other voices screaming at me. But as I come before God and be still, He will shut out everything else, so that His still small voice will become unmistakable and crystal clear.

"There are a million voices calling out my name
You're the One I want to hear so let the others disappear...You're all I need"
(Bethany Dillon)

Will you listen for Your Shepherd's voice today?

-side-
I'm going up to visit my alma-mater tonight. It's weird how it's only been recently that my heart has been aching to relive my old memories at Rutgers. All the familiar faces are gone, but I'm looking forward to just walking around campus, just like I did for 4 years, and re-visit those places where God was so real to me...

When Love Came Down

2005-03-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

I just ordered Miracle Maker - the clay-mation movie about the life of Christ. It's supposed to be for kids, but some of the themes and contexts are kind of hard to grasp - even I had to think hard to understand them.

The first time I saw this was during my first year of seminary during my Jesus: Foundations of NT class, where we were exploring all the different ways that movies had portrayed the person and ministry of Christ.

There were some really lame ones, and we even watched Jesus Christ: Superstar, which was borderline heretical, the way they presented Jesus as a very angry, shady person.

But there was something very special in the way the picture of Jesus was painted in Miracle Maker. Even though He wasn't played by a real human being, there was something about the joy and peace that He possessed that jumped off the screen - especially as the movie also portrayed so well what kind of Messiah that the Jews were expecting during those days.

They were desperate for a political deliverer who would kill off all the Romans who were oppressing them, and in one scene, they show Judas' Isacariots inner thoughts, where He envisioned Jesus with a sword and putting to death one Roman soldier after another, with all this fire in the background.

But immediately after that scene, Jesus is shown giving His sermon on the mount, with a tenderness and smile that had such a powerful effect - especially because that scene was shown in sharp contrast with what Judas had just imagined.

This is the beauty of Christ. When He came to earth, LOVE in its fullest form came to earth. There was no intent to conquer this world, except through humility, mercy, and the cross. He came to win people's hearts and souls, not vast armies through military prowess.

I hope I never forget this in my ministry. It is only through humble loving service that people will be won for Christ. I can't twist people's arms and force them to do anything. Their hearts need to melt by Christ's love through the power of His Spirit.

Let's be amazed once more at the wonderful, merciful Savior, who is far more kind and good than we can ever imagine.

All Distractions Welcome

2005-03-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

Over the years, my life has adjusted so that my need to be organized has increased tremendously. I cannot function without a calendar, my on-line post-its, my daily planner on my Palm, and above all, if I am not punctual, or if others in my life aren't punctual, then everything gets thrown out of whack, and I get myself into trouble.

But as I look at Jesus' life, I highly doubt that He mechanically followed a strict schedule and placed a high emphasis on punctuality. Yes, there were things that He resolved to do - such as doing the will of His Father and dying outside of Jerusalem - but it seems like He was so open to distractions, especially from those from whom distractions are so easy to turn away and ignore - those who tend to irritate, and whom we should have nothing to do with.

As Yancey observed, "He attended wedding feasts that lasted for days. He let Himself get distracted by any 'nobody' He came across, whether a hemorrhaging woman who shyly touched His robe or a blind beggar who made a nuisance of Himself. Two of His most impressive miracles (the raising of Lazarus and of Jairus's daughter) took place because He arrived too late to heal a sick person."

I see so much beauty in the heart of Christ and His willingness to "waste time" with those that many would not even give the time of day to. This was His heart. He loved people more than His schedule.

We all know our eyes will find what they choose to see. And for Jesus, His eyes always looked for hurting people and that's what He saw.

P Paul, in His sermon "No Appointments Necessary," said that what we see doesn't speak so much about what's in our world than what it tells about US and the things that WE value. And that is so true.

What Jesus SAW spoke so much about the gentle, kind, compassionate Savior and Healer He was. And many times, what WE see shows us what a self-centered, overly-busy, uncompassionate people we are.

For Jesus, no appointments were necessary (the paralytic that was lowered through the roof, the bleeding woman, and the crowd of 5000 that showed up when Jesus wanted to be alone).

For us, we hardly give people any attention unless there is an appointment.

This is such a rebuke to me. This past week, to make a long story short, I've been helping out this couple that I ran into on the street, who is struggling financially. I've had to drive them to different places and lend them a lot of money. After a while, it started to become a nuisance and I stopped really genuinely caring how they were doing. All my eyes wanted to see was my own comfort and no interruptions to my schedule.

But is that the heart of Christ? What would He have done? Why don't I want to do it? Where is my heart and where are my values?

Praise God for His indwelling presence within me who enables me to see what He sees and to be able to act on it, when I don't have a single generous bone in my body.

Let's really pray for eyes to see and for hearts to feel what Jesus feels. And let's watch as our world looks drastically different with unending opportunities for ministry and for letting the love of Christ be known.

The Light Of Life

2005-03-04T09:54:00.000-05:00

John 8:12 - "When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

There's something about the darkness that really depresses me. I'm not scared of the dark, but there's something about it that changes my mood, and causes me to feel and act very differently, especially during the winter seasons, where it seems like it's dark all the time. And so, for a good part of my life, I've suffered from SAD - seasonal affective disorder, or occasional season depression.

But even more than physical darkness, I hate not knowing what's going to happen to me today, tomorrow, next month, and even in the distant future. When I go through uncertainties in life, I really feel as though I'm walking and stumbling in the dark with no light to guide my path.

And especially during the days of Christ, the dark represented evil. It's in the dark, that people let down their guards, commit their grossest sins, and essentially become part of that darkness. In John 3:19, Jesus spoke of how men love darkness, because they can hide there in their shame and wickedness.

They fear the light, because everything will be exposed. That's why after we sin at night, we wake up in the morning with the sun shining in, and we feel so gross about all the things we committed in the dark.

And so, based on this contrast, Jesus says to the people, "I AM the LIGHT of the world...Whoever follows me will NEVER walk in darkness, but will have the LIGHT OF LIFE."

This is the beauty of Christ. Not only will He deliver us from our darkness and its shameful ways, but we will have the light of life within us, and there is no longer any uncertainty about what we should do and where we should go.

The psalmist said that the word of God is lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. The apostle Paul called us the "children of the light." All in all, we as believers in Christ, ought to be characterized by this "Light of life" and represent this divine light as best as we can.

Have you been stumbling in the darkness? Do you experience fear and uncertainty? Turn your hearts and eyes upon Jesus, the light of the world. He will throw away your darkness, and give you life beyond what your small heart can desire.

side - I will not be posting tomorrow. I will be away for the weekend, speaking at the Rutgers/NJIT KCCC retreat up in North Jersey. Please pray for me. It's been a rough week, and preparation hasn't been easy. Please pray that the Lord will give of Himself to these students who are hungering after Him, and that they will leave satisfied, not necessarily b/c of good preaching, but because they encountered the risen Christ in His glory and they tasted the Bread of Life. Thank you.

Victory In The Desert

2005-03-03T11:07:00.000-05:00

I'm going through some financial difficulties right now. I don't have to go out and beg for anything, but I'm definitely in a position where I have to wait on God, in His mercy, to provide for me day by day. And as I'm looking at checkbook and my bills, it's so easy for me to want to look for shortcuts so that I don't have to be in this position.

When Jesus was being tempted by Satan in the desert in Matthew 4 and Luke 4, I think that this was when He experienced, in greater measure, what I am going through right now.

Growing up reading this passage, I always thought that this little battle that Jesus had with Satan was no problem for Him - He seemed to just throw those OT verses at Satan like it was no challenge, and without even a contest, He drove Satan out of that scene.

But the more I look at it, and as I read Yancey's discussion on it, the more I'm seeing that it wasn't a staged, prearranged outcome, but that it was a genuine conflict and struggle for Jesus to say no to what Satan was dangling in front of Him. He aimed for Jesus and hit him right where He would be most vulnerable, just like he did with Adam and Eve.

Furthermore, it wasn't as if the temptations being thrown at Jesus were anything evil - wouldn't Jesus eventually multiply bread and conquer death one day?

But here, I see such depth of beauty in Christ's character because He refused the bend His own rules as He lived His earthly life. He suffered and went through the temptation, as the writer of Hebrews would later record, so that "He can help those who are being tempted..."

I really love that verse because it reminds me that Jesus is so familiar with all of the hardships, trials, and temptations that I'm facing today. And because of that, He is more than willing and capable to help me.

Satan didn't know what he was in for that day when he went after Jesus in the desert and tried to get Him to break the rules and crack under pressure. He didn't know that this decisive victory would launch Jesus on a ministry where He would save others miraculously, not for His own benefit or gain, but to reveal His unconditional love to a lost and helpless people.

Do you all see this in my Jesus? He's so awesome and amazing. He's with us all the way. How can you not trust and believe?

I may not get all that I want today. I'll probably be in debt for a while. But there's no greater thing than knowing that I have a God who is rich in mercy and never withholds anything good from us. He gave us His Son. He gave us victory. And there' s absolutely nothing now that He cannot provide - spiritually and physically.

In this, my heart can rest and be content.

The People Were Divided...

2005-03-02T11:32:00.000-05:00

John 7 is a hard chapter to read, for a lot of reasons.

Usually, when you see somebody who has a big name and is well-known, the public opinion of them is generally agreed upon. If there is any division, it's usually between 2 opposing views of them. For example, one side thinks, George W. Bush is a God-honoring, wholesome man while the other side thinks, George W. Bush is a close-minded moron. It's the long-standing split between conservatives and liberals.

But when you look at Jesus, we see that the opinions of Him were scattered all across the board. It wasn't just "He was good" vs "He was bad." We're talking about major extreme reactions to who He was and what He did and said.

Right from the beginning, we read something very shocking: Jesus' own blood brothers did not believe in Him. They wanted Him to become a public figure and show off His miracles at a place like Jerusalem where many would see Him. To them, He was just their brother whom they grew up with, and who they could use to draw a little attention to themselves.

Some called Jesus, "a good man." Others called Him "a deceiver." The Jews at the temple looked at Him as a respected, well-learned teacher. Some in that same crowd called Him "demon-possessed." Some called Him "the Prophet." Still others called Him "the Christ."

Thought they are all so different, these are pretty strong reactions to just one person. Even the temple guards, who had minor roles in this whole scene, said, "No one ever spoke the way this man does..."

And so, John concludes in verse 43, "Thus the people were divided because of Jesus."

How does one man hold that much power and influence, just by being who He is, doing what He does, and saying what He says? How can one person divide a vast crowd and cause such a wide mix of opinions of Him? How can one man lay down His life to save a world full of hopeless sinners? How can one man raise us up to inherit eternal blessings at the right hand of God our Father?

He can only be the true Son of God - the One who came from heaven to show us the way to life - a life that is true, real, and eternal.

Today, let's see what kind of effect this Jesus has on our hearts. Are we any different? Has He truly landed in our souls? Do we think, behave, and feel differently? Are we experiencing the victory, joy, and freedom that He lavishes on us? Do we hate sin and love His holiness? Have we torn down our idols? Are we growing in love with His word?

Where do YOU stand in this divided crowd?

My Favorite Jew

2005-03-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

One of the most common attacks on Christianity that I hear is, "You all uphold your Christian faith, but the man you believe in and worship was 100% Jewish. You are all walking and talking contradictions! Shouldn't your Savior have come from somewhere else besides Nazareth?"

To a certain degree, they have a point. Jesus WAS Jewish, and we cannot study who He is apart from His "Jewishness." His parents were of Jewish descent, they gave Him an ordinary Jewish name, they observed Jewish practices and festivals, and Jesus Himself spent a lot of His free time in a synagogue. Even the very first verse of Matthew's gospel describes Jesus as "the son of David, the son of Abraham" - you can't get more Jewish than that.

And this was the One that we would come to call the Son of God! No wonder so many were skeptical in His day.

Why would Jesus choose to enter our world in this particular context? What was going on? Why didn't He come today, where He would have all this mass communication available to Him to make Himself known? Didn't He know?

Why did He especially come at a time when the nation of Israel was living under the oppression of the pagan empire of Rome? What about this time and race made it so right for Him to come?

For starters, right before the time of Jesus' birth, Palestine (which included Bethlehem, Galilee, Judea - all the places that we read about in the Bible) was an area marked by revolts, tension, uprisings... Basically, the Jews who lived there were sick of having to conform to all the Roman ways and laws, just because they were a bigger and stronger empire - kind of like frustrated Asians (fobs) who refuse to assimilate into the American culture. And so, they physically and sometimes violently resisted any form of change.

But the Romans took action and they not only quieted the Jews, but they also drained them of any kind of hope, leaving them destitute and spirit-less, and here is about the time Jesus was born.

Basically, the Romans heavily looked down on the Jews, calling them atheists, social misfits, and other degrading names. It was in THIS world, that Jesus became a human being....as one of these downtrodden, frustrated Jews.

But here was the King of kings, Prince of peace, our Creator and Deliverer. This was how He chose to enter our broken world.

Why? I don't know. But Jesus knows. And I do know that this choice of time, era, and race further reveals His beauty, His humility, His perfection, and His sacrificial love for a world that was falling apart. He came when that world (at least Palestine) was desperately waiting for a Savior and a Messiah.

He came to a broken, oppressed people - people who resemble us in our sin today. He also came to a sinful, nationalistic, proud people - people who also resemble us as we continue to forsake God for our own selfish ambitions. But His redemptive work brought salvation to this kind of people, and He raised them up to forever change the face of the world.

This is the beauty of Christ. How awesome and great He is! Can anyone explain Him to me? I don't think so. I just want to fall at His feet and offer Him what He deserves. What an awesome God!

All Things New - Warmth on a Snowy Day

2005-02-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

I missed my post yesterday - I'll probably exempt myself from posting on Sundays, due to the hectic pace of the Lord's Day for a pastor. The Lord knows my heart :)

I stepped outside today, and the bitterness of the wind and the snow smacked me in the face. This is the first winter where I've gotten so sick of those white flakes that make my winter days even colder and more bitter than they already are.

But I'm grateful for the constant change of seasons because it reminds me of God's faithful and sovereign hand upon the most basic cycles of life. We can expect the winter and the cold to come, and we will never be let down - it always happens.

And just as sure, we can expect the spring and the warmth to return at the end of winter because God never fails to deliver on His word.

In Steven Curtis Chapman's song, All Things New, the second verse reads:
You turn winter into spring
You take every living thing
And You breathe the breath of life
Into it over and over again
You make the sunrise day after day after day
But there's a morning coming
When old things will all pass away
And everyone will see...You make all things new...

On a cold winter day, Jesus Christ reveals His beauty to me that what I see in front of me is all passing and temporary - especially the bitterness and the cold of all my trials and temptations.

A day will surely come when Jesus Christ, because of His death and resurrection, will make ALL THINGS NEW. I will be forever be set free from my flesh and all that it craves in this world - all the things that leave me even emptier and colder every time I pursue them.

I can bank on the fact that spring is coming, that it will stop snowing, that the sun will come out any day now, and furthermore, that my seasons of spiritual failure, dryness, and bitterness will ALL pass away. His joy is coming. His peace will reign. My life will one day be full and complete.

There's nothing like these truths that bring warmth on a snowy day.

If these words have stirred your heart as much as they have stirred mine all day, read Isaiah 42:5-9 and Revelation 21:5 and engrain these promises into your heart. I guarantee that the Lord will strengthen your heart.

If Anyone Eats of This Bread...

2005-02-26T11:29:00.000-05:00

The Bread of Life
Growing up, hearing that Jesus was the "Bread of Life" wasn't very appealing to me. I didn't particularly enjoy bread very much unless it had peanut butter on it, and my mom cut all of the crust sides off. So, when my pastors and teachers would tell me that Jesus and His word were our "daily bread," I would always make a sick face and get really thirsty just thinking about having to eat dry bread every day in order to grow.

But Jesus wasn't talking about our daily intake of grain and carbohydrates. He was pointing our attention to our basic, daily necessity - we cannot live unless we eat. We cannot physically survive unless we take in physical bread...and likewise, we cannot spiritually survive unless we take in the spiritual bread.

But the language that Jesus used in John 6 was that HE was the true bread that came from heaven. And when the Jews heard that, they freaked out. "What are we supposed to do? Cook this man and eat him? Is He crazy?"

And Jesus knew their hearts so well. He knew they would dismiss this as a teaching that would be too difficult to accept and understand because their hearts were in all the wrong places. They just saw Him multiply five barley loaves and two small fish to feed a vast crowd of five thousand. And all they wanted to see was more of His miraculous power, and thus, find a reason to make Him king by force to achieve their personal, selfish ends.

And when they heard Jesus talk like this, they were first confused, then started to grumble, became more confused, and then eventually left Him.

But this was NOT His heart. His heart was NOT to drive them away, amaze them with more miracles, confuse them, or to gross them out. Jesus' heart and agenda was to GIVE THEM LIFE - LIFE like they've never experienced - a particular kind of life that they can only have when they feed off of Him - the true bread from heaven.
"For the true bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives LIFE to the world...He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty...This bread is My flesh which I will give for the LIFE of the world..." John 6:33,35,51

A few chapters later, Jesus would remind everyone that He came so that we can have life to the full. He couldn't come to jip us...He came to bless us beyond our wildest dreams.

This is such an important reminder for us who turn to cheap, unhealthy snacks in order to feed our spiritual appetite. And all the while, these idols that we feed off of only poison us, kill our spiritual lives, and deplete us of any desire in us to live the life that Jesus offers us.

P Young Lee said last night, "We can go through college, even the rest of our lives without feeding off of God, living for Him, and never experience the full ramifications of it..."

This is so true...Feeding off of the wrong things can kill our appetite for all the right things. So, why do we do it?
Well, first of all, we can get the unhealthy snacks much more quickly. We are a generation that NEEDS instant gratification. And furthermore, those things taste SO good to us. And all the while, we're just spiritully dying and wasting away.
Secondly, it takes a little work to wait on God and to receive the spiritual nourishment that He offers us by giving Himself to us. To feed off of this bread requires some spiritual chewing and digesting, and we're simply too lazy to endure through that process.

But this is what Jesus offers us. He offers us the only bread, His presence and His word, that can give us LIFE.

This is the beauty of Christ - that again, He would hang shamefully and die on a cross, so that day by day, we can freely come, eat of this bread from heaven, and have eternal life. He cannot stand to see His children starve and shrivel in spiritual malnourishment.

He offers Himself to us. Will you not reach up and eat? Will you remain as you are in your hunger? Will you continue to put these unhealthy snacks into your system?

May our hearts and stomachs be daily satisfied...because His love, His mercy, His kindness, and His presence are more than enough for us... Thank You Jesus for being all that I need.

*side* - Please pray for our ECF Sketches tonight. It's been a hectic few days in preparation. I'm physically and mentally exhausted, and I'm in need of His strength and grace... thank you.

It Is I

2005-02-25T13:22:00.000-05:00

"It Is I...Don't be afraid..."

Quick note on the concert
We fought through the blizzard and endured over an hour of slow traffic in the snow, but we finally made it to the Bob Carpenter Center at the University of Delaware last night and finally saw my childhood hero, SC Chapman, in person. It was personally very exciting for me. The entire set went a little long, but this man's passion for living for the Lord, which he's been singing about for over 20 years now, really came out in his music in a powerful way.
(I'll post about his adoption of the 3 Chinese girls later...)

I was singing so loudly along with the songs I grew up with ("The Great Adventure," "For the Sake of the Call," "Dive," etc)...and none of the freshmen I brought knew any of those old songs. Then I realized that those songs came out when they were still sucking their thumbs (late 80's). Man, I'm not that old, right?
I had a great time, and I'm sure that the Rutgers/USP freshmen enjoyed it as well.

My Post
I came across a passage this morning that portrayed to me an aspect of Christ's heart and character that I desperately needed to see, from John 6:16-24. It's John's account of when Jesus walked on water to meet the disciples in their boat in the middle of the night, while the wind was blowing stronger and the waters grew rough.

The disciples were utterly terrified at the sight of someone that knew so well doing something out of the ordinary, but in their present condition, they couldn't adjust their minds and logic to what they were seeing. And so, they were scared out of their minds...and it didn't help that it was dark, and that the winds were blowing. (Something about the dark that is so ominous...I would never watch "The Ring" by myself when it is dark in the house)

But Jesus does nothing to make their situation more pleasant for them. He simply says, "IT IS I...Don't be afraid..."

What He essentially did was not give them answers, tangible solutions, or instant relief/joy. He offered Himself to them, and that's all they got.
And we see what happens in verse 21. They take Him into their boat, and they IMMEDIATELY reached the shore where they were heading.

And I'm realizing more and more that this is how Christ really works in our lives. We face so many situations where we feel so helpless, weak, and unable to do anything. And I know that this is how I've felt a good part of this month.

But even as we cry out to Jesus, His agenda and heart isn't necessarily to make our lives any easier or more convenient, but to fill in that HUGE missing puzzle piece, which is His comforting presence inside of our hearts, and His words of promise engrained into our minds.

He said, "It is I...don't be afraid..." "I am with you to the very end...I love you...I will never leave or fail you...let Me into your boat, and let's get to the shore together..."

This is the beauty of Christ...He KNOWS that our biggest need is HIM alone.
He knows that when we long for earthly things, fleshly pleasure, material comfort, affirmation and approval in the eyes of men...HE KNOWS that what our hearts are REALLY crying out for in those moments, is for more of HIM - because that's what we were made to long for...and we just settle for the cheap, more convenient ways to satisfy those longings.
Why do you think that more is never enough when it comes to earthly, lustful desires?

But Christ knows this so well, and He ALWAYS gives of Himself to us when we cry out to Him. And it is only when He gives Himself to us and climbs into our boat, that we will reach the shore...we will get to right where we're supposed to be.

And that's exactly what happened to me this morning. I woke up and for some reason, I felt SO empty. I couldn't figure out what it was. My thoughts were like an untamed wild animal. I couldn't control them, and I started to freak out. Maybe I was just really tired, but there was no excuse for a pastor to have these kinds of inward mental battles. I felt so low, and felt like I couldn't face this weekend of intense ministry.

And so I cried out for more of Him... "Lord, satisfy my longing heart with MORE OF YOU...THAT is what I really need right now! If you don't fill me, then I'm going to walk around today as an empty person just going through the motions of life with no real purpose...Give of Yourself to me so that I can live this day and this life to the FULLNESS"

And the peace and the satisfaction that came after I prayed that prayer were indescribable. This is the Jesus that I'm getting to know and love more and more every day. He gives me Himself, because that's what my heart really wants and needs.
It is I, don't be afraid...

Repeat these words to yourself throughout this day. And be reminded of this Jesus who gave Himself to you by dying on a cross, so that we can have Him every day. Glory be to His name.

I'll Always Stand...

2005-02-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

I'll Always Stand
"...for God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control..." 2 Timothy 1:7

I'll get to this verse in a minute...
Last night at small group, I had Jimmy lead a game before we went into a time of bible study...I didn't know he was going to lead a "geek-bowl." Basically, it was a trivia game testing the knowledge of our members in categories such as chemistry, biology, and calculus (The bible was the fourth topic).
It was interesting to see how bold they all were to speak about something they knew so well (or they were forced to study by their schools, for that matter) There was no shame in their knowledge of these subjects because most of them knew their sciences inside out (note: MOST of them, not all...haha)
I was particularly blessed to know that most of them knew which seminary that I graduated from. :) (Thank you, Joohee and Alicia)

This was a good segway into the topic of our Bible Study - the purpose of which was to encourage us to not be ashamed of Jesus wherever we are, but to rise up and exercise the Spirit-enabled attitudes of power, love, and self-control. We have NOT been give the spirit of fear...That comes from our selfish hearts that wants to please ourselves and not speak out about what we HAVE been given - the spirit of Christ and boldness to speak on His behalf.

This only serves to highlight how important it is to get to KNOW Jesus so much more deeply during this season of Lent. How can we speak up on behalf of someone that we hardly know? What do we have to say? How can we even be bold?

When Jesus walked this earth, He kept speaking of His relationship to His Father, and how He knew so intricately all that was going on in the heart, mind, and will of the Father. "For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all He does..." (John 5:20)

And this is exactly the reason why Jesus was able to remain committed, bold, and passionate about the doing His Father's will. He was speaking of things that were a part of Him and that were so familiar to Him.

This is the beauty of Christ - His courage, boldness, power - carrying out what He knew so well, because He was in an eternity-based love relationship with the Father.

I truly believe that this power is available for you and me today. There are people in our lives that God is calling us to be bold about our faith in front of. And this power only comes as we take time to behold the Son of God, and truly know Him in His beauty and glory...
And how can we not speak up? How can we not be courageous? How can we remain in our timidity and fear?

May His Name spread so widely and rapidly through the witness of His people who have been given this spirit of amazing power, love, and self-control. All for His glory.

*side* - Tonight, (weather permitting), I will be fulfilling one of my childhood dreams (13 years in the making) and finally seeing Steven Curtis Chapman in concert down in Delaware. I will post about it tomorrow.

The Beauty of Humility

2005-02-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

The Beauty of Humility - Following the character of Christ

To start off, I was SO blessed last night, to find out that the USP freshmen initiated and ran their own prayer meeting - I'm assuming that the purpose was to get ready for Sketches, and to pray for the needs of their class. I was so tempted to crash the prayer meeting just to see how they were doing it, but I resisted and I left after having dinner with Jimmy and others at Wilson. It's these little things that make ministry such a joy, and remind me that I can find and see glimpses of Christ in everyone in my life. I hope that prayer meeting went well, and that you guys (freshmen) are discovering the deep joy and power when you collectively join your hearts together to call on Jesus - there's not a single prayer that He turns away, and He's glorified when we humble ourselves and pray. Keep it up, guys!

One of my points last Friday was that Jesus is DRAWN to humility. He loves it so much because it stands out SO much in His character (see Philippians 2:5-8; Psalm 51:17). He moves towards it like a magnet - He's proven that to me over and over again in my life.. He's never more real than when I'm utterly broken, and in desperate need of Him.
And sadly, on the flip side, He is repulsed by pride, and does not hesitate to withdraw Himself, when our hearts become proud. And I've also experienced this time and time again.

This is SO clear in the way Jesus chose to enter our world. He entered the womb of a teenage girl, whose family and close friends would be shocked at the thought of her engaging in scandalous behavior, he was born in a building where there were more animals witnessing His birth than people, the angels brought this news first to illiterate shepherds (society labeled them with a godless, randy reputation), etc, etc.

This sounds more like a Christmas post than anything, but one of my favorite names for Jesus is that He is the FRIEND OF SINNERS. He befriends the weak and helpless and lifts them up to a higher place. "...God gives grace to the humble..." This is His promise and He has never failed to deliver on it - Look what He did for Hagar, Ruth, Hannah - (why are the women of the Bible the best examples of humility?) He drew NEAR to them, and blessed them beyond their imagination - because they chose the way of humility.

And ultimately, look at our lives - "...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us..."

This is the beauty of Christ. A God so humble that He left His glory up above, to enter our world of pain, tension, and brokenness - so that He can draw near to us and lift us up to where He is.

Let's fix our eyes on Jesus, and pray through the song, "I want to be like You, Jesus, to have this heart in me...You are the God of the humble, You are the humble King..."

What a glorious gospel!

Why does He act differently?

2005-02-22T11:09:00.000-05:00

Just to start off, I saw the movie, Hitch, last night with Phil. It's been a while since I've laughed that hard in a movie theater. In the end, the idea of a love doctor really is a myth. If your "significant other" can't accept you for who you are, and is only drawn to a polished-up version of you, then there's no good end to that story..
All in all, relax everyone.. God has already written your love story.. Just be faithful where you are, love HIM with all your heart, don't take yourself so seriously and He will unfold it in His timing.. He's the best Love Doctor out there because He IS LOVE..

I want to share a thought from a MUST-READ book - "The Jesus I Never Knew" by Philip Yancey. If you have not read this, you MUST read it.
I've recently had to re-read it because I made Saomony read it, and I have to go over it with her. Yancey has wrestled for many years over who Jesus really was - from the gentle, innocent Shepherd that we saw on the flannelboards in Sunday School, to the hip revolutionary from the Jesus Movement of the 70's, to the laid back, gracious, personable figure that many make Him out to be today.
Every once in a while, I'll be posting thoughts from this book, because it captures so much of the beauty of Jesus' character that I want to focus on.

One thing that stuck out in the first chapter of this book was how He was a character that no could have invented. There's something about His personality, the things He said and did, and the incredible effect He had on everyone - from the poorest of the downcast to the Roman and Jewish leaders - there wasn't a single person who was left untouched by Jesus' influence.

First off, Jesus was a man full of emotion, passion, and spontaneity. Though He was God in flesh and knew all things, He allowed Himself to be so affected by the things and people He saw around Him
"obstinacy frustrated Him, self-righteousness infuriated Him, simple faith thrilled Him..."

Yet, He NEVER wavered in His mission; Why did He act so differently?
"One day miracles seemed to flow out of Jesus; the next day His power was blocked by people's lack of faith. One day, He talked in detail of the Second Coming; another, He knew neither the day nor hour. He fled from arrest at one point and marched inexorably toward it at another. He spoke eloquently about peacemaking, then told His disciples to procure swords. His extravagant claims about Himself kept Him at the center of controversy, but when He did something truly miraculous He tended to hush it up..." - (p 23)

This is the beauty of Christ - a mystery that we'll truly never fully know, but becomes so much more glorious and beautiful with every layer that we are able to unwrap, but His Spirit's enablement.
But one thing is for sure: Jesus NEVER did anything without passion or purpose. He was set on His Father's will and could do nothing except what His Father did (John 5:19).
This is something that is missing from so many of our lives - this excitement and purpose that keeps our lives exciting and unpredictable.
So many times, we want the comfort of knowing every single little detail of where our lives are headed. But as we look at Jesus and depend on Him, the more we embrace what He's already doing in our lives and that is the most exciting place to be.

Let's really read through the gospels during this Lent season with this kind of attitude - of wonder, humility, expectancy, and amazement. The more you stare at Jesus, the more awesome He appears to be.
God bless your day!

Grace For Fickle Hearts

2005-02-21T12:22:00.000-05:00

After the great revival in Samaria, Jesus makes His way back up north to Galilee in John 4:43. He's returning to His hometown where He is recieved very warmly. But Jesus knows exactly what is inside the hearts of men (John 2:24-25), and knew that this was only because they saw what He had done while they were in Jerusalem. They weren't really interested in Him as a person, with whom they could have a personal relationship.
And so, this royal official wastes NO time in running up to Jesus to ask Him to heal his son. Jesus is not fooled by this official's fickle heart, but heals his son nonetheless... "Your son WILL live..."
In fact, the boy was healed at the EXACT hour when Jesus said the word. And the official and his family are amazed and they put their faith in Jesus. What an amazing picture of grace for a fickle heart! While his heart was in the wrong place, salvation is brought to him AND his family.

This is the story of my life. My heart is more fickle than I want to admit. Why is it that I turn to God mostly when I need anointing for ministry, or so that I can see miracles happen in my life? I'm not always like this but this is my tendency. And when things are well, and I run out of steam, I just kick back and there are things that I do, think, and feel behind closed doors that I am utterly ashamed of. I have a fickle heart, and I am in desperate need of the grace that Jesus showed this official and his son.
And Jesus has been more than faithful to give me this grace over and over again - even when my heart is so disobedient and rebellious.

This is the beauty of Christ - a God who is faithful even when we are faithless - He died for us while we were still sinners and using Him for our selfish purposes. All glory be to the Merciful One.

Side: I had a great "soul food" dinner at Corinthia and Sharon's place last night.. GOOOOD stuff.. I'm grateful for church people, who take time out to think of others even while they are going through so much.. I left with a full stomach and a happy heart.. Thanks, guys.. Have a blessed week!

First Day

2005-02-20T19:06:00.000-05:00

First Day
After preaching on LENT this past Friday, I've decided to keep a daily log of all the things I'm learning about Jesus and myself, for the rest of this pre-Passion season (and hopefully beyond)

I've never done something like this before, so I will be experimenting with different ways to do this. The Lord has been speaking to me in so many ways since I turned 26 last Sunday, but I'm just going to be posting the main things that I want to share and truly live out. Please feel free to comment, encourage, and keep me accountable.

Today, at our ECF officers' meeting, I shared with them about our spiritual appetitite to do the will of God.. In John 4, in an ordinary day where Jesus was taking a rest on His way up to Galilee from Judea, He sat down by a well, where a Samaritan women was drawing water from it.

To make a long story short, Jesus struck up an interesting conversation with her, for no other reason than to win her soul and save her life. After this encounter, the disciples suggested to Jesus that they go and find some food - to which Jesus responds by saying, "My FOOD is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work."

This is what Jesus lived off of, and always found His life-giving sustenance in it. He was always HUNGRY to do the Father's will - and because of that, He NEVER ran out of food - simply because the fields were always white unto harvest.

So many of us hunger after so many things. Many of us were reminded of that especially after "Single's Awareness Day" last week. (maybe more for young single adults like me)..
Or even with ECF Sketches coming up (our fellowship priase night), where we want so much to perform well, and have a successful night.

But today at church, I was SO humbled by how many people God brought out to church that I didn't expect to see - Kevin from Camden, Jessica (visitor from BrynMawr), Hosup, Wilson, Melody and Jiyhun (4 freshmen from USP I haven't seen in a long time) - all of whom who really need encouragement, and a clearer understanding of Christ's love.

This is what Christ meant when He said that the fields are white unto harvest. And for those who are HUNGRY to do our Father's will, they will NEVER miss out on opportunities to be fed and to be satisfied - and the ultimate result is that revival will break out in the most unexpected places - "Many Samaritans from the village believed in Jesus because the woman had said, 'He told me everything I ever did'...He is indeed the Savior of the world..."

This is the beauty of Christ - "My nourisment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing His work..."
I want to be like Jesus - I want to hunger to do the Father's will - there is nothing so satisfying and fulfilling, than to finish His work.
We don't just start His work to leave it halfway - but we persevere until it is complete.
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may FINISH the race and COMPLETE the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to God's grace." Acts 20:24

May our lives be marked by such purpose and meaning. For the glory of Christ.